As I end my night tonight I want to give thanks for my life. I am so thankful for where I am right now. I enjoy the understanding I have come to within my life. I feel constantly on the edge of an undiscovered happiness and at the same time completely enjoy where I am in the single moment. I see all of the potential and possibilities that are available to me, and I am so grateful for this journey!
We are not limited. Our freedom does not rest within this world, it rests within our souls. When we connect to the power within ourselves our outside world is altered. We hold ourselves back by believing that we lack. We accept that we are powerless in this journey. We believe the outside world, without consideration that no one in this world knows our soul.
The only person who can truly brings happiness into your life is yourself.
We need to look within and acknowledge the power and glory we posses, we need accept the responsibility to be the person we were meant to be. We need to be strong and stay focused on who we have the ability to be, and the amazing thing is we are not limited! We can achieve whatever we want as long as we get past the idea that we lack.
I say thank you to the Universe. Thank you for bringing me the understanding that I am truly more than I was ever led to believe from the outside world. Thank for leading me to the answers that I needed to understand in order to find myself. Thank you for leading to the ways I could free myself from my demons. Thank you for my world!!
Living Inspired!
Micah Ann
Sunday, October 11, 2009
Friday, October 9, 2009
This is My Life
It's been such a long time since I have written. I have been journaling everyday but getting onto a working computer has been a challenge for me. My life seems drastically different then just a few months ago. I am such a different person than I was a few months ago, I am truly happy.
I give thanks everyday for the amazing people that are coming into my life. Every single day feels like a new opportunity for happiness, instead of another dreaded day. A lot of things have altered within my life but I know that the most significant change is really my attitude towards my life. I know longer focus on who and what I am not, I focus on who I am. I cultivate the beauty and peace within myself, and I focus on the best in others as well. I don't feel anger or hatred toward others, only a desire to influence their lives in the best possible ways.
All of the dreams I have for my life I'm realizing, are not necessary. As long as I can find happiness and peace within each moment I am the richest person in the world. I am surrounded by an abundance of love, friendship, laughter, happiness and joy. I didn't believe before that I would ever find that. I faced demons within myself that I never even realized existed. I have begun to set myself free!
I wish for you all to realize the freedom acceptance of yourself provides.
In Love and Kindness,
Micah
I give thanks everyday for the amazing people that are coming into my life. Every single day feels like a new opportunity for happiness, instead of another dreaded day. A lot of things have altered within my life but I know that the most significant change is really my attitude towards my life. I know longer focus on who and what I am not, I focus on who I am. I cultivate the beauty and peace within myself, and I focus on the best in others as well. I don't feel anger or hatred toward others, only a desire to influence their lives in the best possible ways.
All of the dreams I have for my life I'm realizing, are not necessary. As long as I can find happiness and peace within each moment I am the richest person in the world. I am surrounded by an abundance of love, friendship, laughter, happiness and joy. I didn't believe before that I would ever find that. I faced demons within myself that I never even realized existed. I have begun to set myself free!
I wish for you all to realize the freedom acceptance of yourself provides.
In Love and Kindness,
Micah
Tuesday, September 22, 2009
Thank You
I haven't been doing a lot of thinking or pondering about my life latey, hence the small amount of posts this month. I want to continue to post my progress and where I am.
Right now I find myself in Gratitude.
I am so thankful for every experience I have ever had, good or bad. I am in a very happy place, within my soul. My outside life may not completely show that transformation but I can feel it.
I am thankful for the people who surrond me in my life. I am surround by creative, loving, amazing people. Everyday I meet another wonderful person who I thank the Universe for bringing into my life. I know I am blessed.
I cannot discribe the excitment I feel about my life! It's...beyond verbal expression.
Yet my life is choatic. It's as if I have thrown the puzzle that is my life up in the air and I am now waiting to see where the pieces lie.
Even within this I am Happy. I am smiling and I know that everything going to be okay. I know that this is an expeirence. I do not end when these experiences are over, I simply move on to another phase. Within that understanding I find peace.
I wish you all peace.
Living Inspired,
Micah
Right now I find myself in Gratitude.
I am so thankful for every experience I have ever had, good or bad. I am in a very happy place, within my soul. My outside life may not completely show that transformation but I can feel it.
I am thankful for the people who surrond me in my life. I am surround by creative, loving, amazing people. Everyday I meet another wonderful person who I thank the Universe for bringing into my life. I know I am blessed.
I cannot discribe the excitment I feel about my life! It's...beyond verbal expression.
Yet my life is choatic. It's as if I have thrown the puzzle that is my life up in the air and I am now waiting to see where the pieces lie.
Even within this I am Happy. I am smiling and I know that everything going to be okay. I know that this is an expeirence. I do not end when these experiences are over, I simply move on to another phase. Within that understanding I find peace.
I wish you all peace.
Living Inspired,
Micah
Monday, September 21, 2009
Prayers
I will move through today with faith and confidence that my life will work out the way it was meant to. I will stay calm and open, allowing the universe to flow through me without holding on to anything that may clog my connection.
I let go of regret and fear. I let go of the belief that I am all alone. I let go of the belief that I must figure life out. I accept guidance from the universe and my Higher Self.
I acknowledge my breathe and my life. I am thankful that I can remain so calm within such a chaotic time where I would normally feel extremely axious. Even within this time of transformation and transistion I acknowledge that I love my life. I am surrounded by people who I love. I am safe and I am loved and I am grateful.
Living Inspired,
Micah
I let go of regret and fear. I let go of the belief that I am all alone. I let go of the belief that I must figure life out. I accept guidance from the universe and my Higher Self.
I acknowledge my breathe and my life. I am thankful that I can remain so calm within such a chaotic time where I would normally feel extremely axious. Even within this time of transformation and transistion I acknowledge that I love my life. I am surrounded by people who I love. I am safe and I am loved and I am grateful.
Living Inspired,
Micah
Friday, September 18, 2009
Listen Up!
“Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate. Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure. It is our light, not our darkness that most frightens us. We ask ourselves, Who am I to be brilliant, gorgeous, talented, fabulous? Actually, who are you not to be? You are a child of God. Your playing small does not serve the world. There is nothing enlightened about shrinking so that other people won't feel insecure around you. We are all meant to shine, as children do. We were born to make manifest the glory of God that is within us. It's not just in some of us; it's in everyone. And as we let our own light shine, we unconsciously give other people permission to do the same. As we are liberated from our own fear, our presence automatically liberates others.”
-Inspiring quote by Marianne Williamson
Open your heart and soul and shine :)
In Love,
Micah
-Inspiring quote by Marianne Williamson
Open your heart and soul and shine :)
In Love,
Micah
Tuesday, September 8, 2009
Wishes do come true
I think that sometimes we don't see how our wishes come true. I have mentioned before that I am working on not being so tied to the specifics of my desires. I'm working on letting God design my world.
This weekend I feel like a lot of the things I have been asking for have finally appeared in my life :) I made amends with myself. I was myself. Nothing about me was fake and I didn't act a certain way to be accepted. I was my true self, and for that I am pleased.
Situations that I have desires to have seemed to come about out of thin air this weekend. People who I desired to see popped up in unexpected places. I felt a connection :) I may not have done everything exactly as I would have liked to but I refuse to feel regret. Everything is past, only the moment I am in right now is the moment that matters.
Life is good.
Living Inspired,
Micah
This weekend I feel like a lot of the things I have been asking for have finally appeared in my life :) I made amends with myself. I was myself. Nothing about me was fake and I didn't act a certain way to be accepted. I was my true self, and for that I am pleased.
Situations that I have desires to have seemed to come about out of thin air this weekend. People who I desired to see popped up in unexpected places. I felt a connection :) I may not have done everything exactly as I would have liked to but I refuse to feel regret. Everything is past, only the moment I am in right now is the moment that matters.
Life is good.
Living Inspired,
Micah
Friday, September 4, 2009
Different Perspective
One of my dearest friends is getting married this weekend. She asked me to be the Maid of Honor.
Ugh, was my first instinct. The idea of being resposible for all of the things a real good Maid of Honor would cover was beyond to much for me to handle. I didn't want to have anything to do with it, and I told Binks :) that from the begining. She said 'Oh, don't worry about any of that. I know you, I just want you to be a part of my day.'
I wish I would've been able to hear her when she said that so many months ago. Once all of my thoughts of insecuritiy came crepping they had a firm hold! For months I have been dreading this event. The pressure upon me was unbearable!!!
I didn't notice until today that all of the pressure applied to me was by me. I allow myself to ruin the planning time of this a glorious event!
Last night as I was lying in my bed Dreading Sunday when the light finally shown.....
My best friend is getting married!
The girl who I have helped through so many moments is now about to walk down the lisle and, she wants me to be one of the people standing there with her! How did I not see how incredibly amazing this event is going to be! The girl who has been a little sister to me since 6th grade is becoming a wife. How blessed is this going to be. I feel such pride in knowing this woman. She is kind, giving, kookie and beautiful. I taught her, maybe we shouldn't talk about the things I taught her :) I have watched her grow into a wonderful friend, Mother and now Wife.
My perspective on this event has shifted, I'm very glad to say.
I wish everyone love, kindness, friendship and understanding. I wish everyone the experience to find their true happiness.
Living Inspired,
Micah
I love you Binks!!!!
Ugh, was my first instinct. The idea of being resposible for all of the things a real good Maid of Honor would cover was beyond to much for me to handle. I didn't want to have anything to do with it, and I told Binks :) that from the begining. She said 'Oh, don't worry about any of that. I know you, I just want you to be a part of my day.'
I wish I would've been able to hear her when she said that so many months ago. Once all of my thoughts of insecuritiy came crepping they had a firm hold! For months I have been dreading this event. The pressure upon me was unbearable!!!
I didn't notice until today that all of the pressure applied to me was by me. I allow myself to ruin the planning time of this a glorious event!
Last night as I was lying in my bed Dreading Sunday when the light finally shown.....
My best friend is getting married!
The girl who I have helped through so many moments is now about to walk down the lisle and, she wants me to be one of the people standing there with her! How did I not see how incredibly amazing this event is going to be! The girl who has been a little sister to me since 6th grade is becoming a wife. How blessed is this going to be. I feel such pride in knowing this woman. She is kind, giving, kookie and beautiful. I taught her, maybe we shouldn't talk about the things I taught her :) I have watched her grow into a wonderful friend, Mother and now Wife.
My perspective on this event has shifted, I'm very glad to say.
I wish everyone love, kindness, friendship and understanding. I wish everyone the experience to find their true happiness.
Living Inspired,
Micah
I love you Binks!!!!
Thursday, September 3, 2009
Stressed
Everyone has days where they feel a little lost. Well I have to admit that I have been feeling that way more and more for the last few days. There is something stressing me out, the thing is, I don't really know what it is! It's quite annoying to feel so upset and not be able to pinpoint the reasoning behind it.
Wednesday, September 2, 2009
The Cookie Jar Theory
I have always had a hard time with the idea of God forgiving all of our 'sins'. Especially with the 'sins' we repeat time and time again. I have asked people of faith many times about what I call my Cookie Jar Theory and they have answered but their answers never made enough sense to me to be able to let go of my question, how can God really forgive us our 'sins'. I believed I have recently come to that answer within myself.
My Cookie Jar Theory is simple: The Cookie Jar is filled with cookies and your Mom tells you not to have any. Although you cannot seem to resist the desire to have a cookie. You apologize afterwards and you are forgiven. If you keep on taking a cookie and you keep on asking for forgiveness eventually your Mom is not going to believe you are truly sorry, because you keep on producing the same type of behavior, you can't really be sorry. My question comes from this idea: If I say I'm sorry but I cannot seem to stop my improper behavior then eventually I will no longer be forgive, so how can God truly love and forgive me?
Like I said this is a question I have asked time and time again and I have never gotten an answer I felt happy with, until now. I just realized today today that God does forgive every time we do anything, the ones who don't forgive is ourselves. Because we, some of us, believe ourselves to be unworthy of forgiveness we do not allow it into our lives. We can ask forgiveness until the cows come home but if we are unable to allow forgiveness in we will never truly find it.
The Cookie Jar theory is simple, God will always forgive us. God knows us beyond what we know of ourselves. I believe God sees the struggle we go through within ourselves, in God knowing and seeing our inward struggle God sees that we truly are sorry, even if we are unable at the time to change our behavior. I also believe God never denies us forgiveness, we deny ourselves. I don't believe God looks at our lives and expects us to ask for forgiveness. This is a journey, it's an experience, we each are going to run it to many different situations, good and bad and we are here to experience what this life has to offer.
I believe God is our creator, our Father in Heaven and that all God wants from us is to live this life with the understanding that we are connected. We are connected to God and to everyone else by God. I believe once we understand that and the fact that no matter what we do we will go back to God in the end, then we will start to be kinder to ourselves. I believe this life is not a test or a lesson, this is an experience. A wonderful opportunity to create a life in the way we want to. An opportunity to be free and know, if we can grasp the knowing, that we are always safe, always protected and always loved by God. God did not abandon us on this Earth, God created this Earth for us. We are connected and attached. We are meant to be and show the love of God through ourselves and we can only truly do that when we learn to love ourselves as God loves us completely and wholly without and judgement or persecution.
I encourage you all to consider this idea.
In Loving Inspiration,
Micah
My Cookie Jar Theory is simple: The Cookie Jar is filled with cookies and your Mom tells you not to have any. Although you cannot seem to resist the desire to have a cookie. You apologize afterwards and you are forgiven. If you keep on taking a cookie and you keep on asking for forgiveness eventually your Mom is not going to believe you are truly sorry, because you keep on producing the same type of behavior, you can't really be sorry. My question comes from this idea: If I say I'm sorry but I cannot seem to stop my improper behavior then eventually I will no longer be forgive, so how can God truly love and forgive me?
Like I said this is a question I have asked time and time again and I have never gotten an answer I felt happy with, until now. I just realized today today that God does forgive every time we do anything, the ones who don't forgive is ourselves. Because we, some of us, believe ourselves to be unworthy of forgiveness we do not allow it into our lives. We can ask forgiveness until the cows come home but if we are unable to allow forgiveness in we will never truly find it.
The Cookie Jar theory is simple, God will always forgive us. God knows us beyond what we know of ourselves. I believe God sees the struggle we go through within ourselves, in God knowing and seeing our inward struggle God sees that we truly are sorry, even if we are unable at the time to change our behavior. I also believe God never denies us forgiveness, we deny ourselves. I don't believe God looks at our lives and expects us to ask for forgiveness. This is a journey, it's an experience, we each are going to run it to many different situations, good and bad and we are here to experience what this life has to offer.
I believe God is our creator, our Father in Heaven and that all God wants from us is to live this life with the understanding that we are connected. We are connected to God and to everyone else by God. I believe once we understand that and the fact that no matter what we do we will go back to God in the end, then we will start to be kinder to ourselves. I believe this life is not a test or a lesson, this is an experience. A wonderful opportunity to create a life in the way we want to. An opportunity to be free and know, if we can grasp the knowing, that we are always safe, always protected and always loved by God. God did not abandon us on this Earth, God created this Earth for us. We are connected and attached. We are meant to be and show the love of God through ourselves and we can only truly do that when we learn to love ourselves as God loves us completely and wholly without and judgement or persecution.
I encourage you all to consider this idea.
In Loving Inspiration,
Micah
What did I learn
I went out for the first time in a very long time this past weekend. I got drunk and paid for it the next morning by being severely sick, not good. What I want to write about is what I have learned about myself from that experience.
Let me start by saying that in another life, when I was a different version of myself, I was a VERY flirtatious girl :) That's putting things mildly, I am, and always have been, an insane flirt! I love attention, and I love men, put them together and what you get is flirt. Actually back in the day, I was way more than a flirt, I was straight up player! Without going into too much detail I got hurt emotionally at a young age and instead of letting the pain go I let it harden within my heart. I decided I could play 'the game' better than any boy and I proved it. I had swagger most girls never dream of having :)
I smile and laugh about it now because I refuse to feel shame. It was a time in my life and I will never persecute myself for that behavior. I was hurt, I believed that all men viewed women as was sexual gratification and I decided I could work with that. I refused to even consider that a man would want more of me than what I could physically give, and I also decided I wanted nothing more of them then what they could physically give. For me that worked for a long time. No feelings or emotion just physical pleasure.
What I learned about myself on this recent outing is that I have grown. Of course I am still a mad flirt but I do not look at myself as someone not worthy of emotion or feelings attached to physical affection. I know now that I will not settle for what I once found to be acceptable, and even preferred at the time.
I am worth attention. I have always been worth affection. I am worth kindness and pleasure in my life. I know now that I allowed myself to believe that I was worth less. I believed that my soul didn't require or desire an intimate connection, I was wrong.
So yes, a very tiny amount of old school Micah showed herself at the bar this weekend :) and I have a choice I can either degrade myself for months and not allow myself to go back out or I can smile at myself and realize that yes all of my behavior wasn't great but you live and you learn. I allow myself room for growth, and that room includes space for correction of certain behaviors.
I am pleased that I am not hiding in the sand beating myself for the tiniest of infractions. I will encourage myself to try again, and with time I will learn the appropriate behavior I want to portray.
Living Inspired,
Micah
Let me start by saying that in another life, when I was a different version of myself, I was a VERY flirtatious girl :) That's putting things mildly, I am, and always have been, an insane flirt! I love attention, and I love men, put them together and what you get is flirt. Actually back in the day, I was way more than a flirt, I was straight up player! Without going into too much detail I got hurt emotionally at a young age and instead of letting the pain go I let it harden within my heart. I decided I could play 'the game' better than any boy and I proved it. I had swagger most girls never dream of having :)
I smile and laugh about it now because I refuse to feel shame. It was a time in my life and I will never persecute myself for that behavior. I was hurt, I believed that all men viewed women as was sexual gratification and I decided I could work with that. I refused to even consider that a man would want more of me than what I could physically give, and I also decided I wanted nothing more of them then what they could physically give. For me that worked for a long time. No feelings or emotion just physical pleasure.
What I learned about myself on this recent outing is that I have grown. Of course I am still a mad flirt but I do not look at myself as someone not worthy of emotion or feelings attached to physical affection. I know now that I will not settle for what I once found to be acceptable, and even preferred at the time.
I am worth attention. I have always been worth affection. I am worth kindness and pleasure in my life. I know now that I allowed myself to believe that I was worth less. I believed that my soul didn't require or desire an intimate connection, I was wrong.
So yes, a very tiny amount of old school Micah showed herself at the bar this weekend :) and I have a choice I can either degrade myself for months and not allow myself to go back out or I can smile at myself and realize that yes all of my behavior wasn't great but you live and you learn. I allow myself room for growth, and that room includes space for correction of certain behaviors.
I am pleased that I am not hiding in the sand beating myself for the tiniest of infractions. I will encourage myself to try again, and with time I will learn the appropriate behavior I want to portray.
Living Inspired,
Micah
Monday, August 31, 2009
What I want
I want to do something inspiring!
I feel like it's time for a change. I want my work to be something more, I want to help others. I want to make an impact for good. I don't care that I make tons of money but I do want the opportunity to be more than what I am. I will not be able to make more than what I make now at my current company. I have been at the same salary for 3 years now with no hope for growth. I also have gotten tired of working from home. It was a great opportunity but now I want something different, I want something more. I am no longer content hiding in my house, not facing the world, I want more.
Now that I am on my own, without a partner to pick up the slack, I need to find something that will help me provide a good life for my children while also helping me grow emotionally and spiritually. I'm not sure if this kind of career exists but I need it and I need it now.
I am working on not being afraid of the twists and turns my life makes. I am working on be fluid and easy going.
For years now I have stood still. I no longer want to live that way. I want to be a part of the world! I want to communicate with others. I want to encourage and inspire others to their own greatness.
I want to do something that allows me to connect with the body and the soul. I want to be connected. I want peace, joy and fulfillment from my career.
I ask to be guided to where my desires can become reality.
Living Inspired,
Micah
I feel like it's time for a change. I want my work to be something more, I want to help others. I want to make an impact for good. I don't care that I make tons of money but I do want the opportunity to be more than what I am. I will not be able to make more than what I make now at my current company. I have been at the same salary for 3 years now with no hope for growth. I also have gotten tired of working from home. It was a great opportunity but now I want something different, I want something more. I am no longer content hiding in my house, not facing the world, I want more.
Now that I am on my own, without a partner to pick up the slack, I need to find something that will help me provide a good life for my children while also helping me grow emotionally and spiritually. I'm not sure if this kind of career exists but I need it and I need it now.
I am working on not being afraid of the twists and turns my life makes. I am working on be fluid and easy going.
For years now I have stood still. I no longer want to live that way. I want to be a part of the world! I want to communicate with others. I want to encourage and inspire others to their own greatness.
I want to do something that allows me to connect with the body and the soul. I want to be connected. I want peace, joy and fulfillment from my career.
I ask to be guided to where my desires can become reality.
Living Inspired,
Micah
Friday, August 28, 2009
Finding Myself
'Waiting to see what I might be if released from chains that bind me from within'
I feel like I am finally starting to see myself, it's an amazing feeling! I have always been filled with doubt about who I am, who I should be, and whether or not I should share my true self with the world. Even admitting to the music I truly like was difficult for me. My mind would say things like "what if they don't like the music you like, then maybe they won't like you either".
I have always been drawn to people who were very confident in their likes and to be so doubtful about my likes made me feel even more lost. The fact that I was never into Kurt Cobain made me even more of an outcast! Especially with the groups I hung out with and the time I grew up. Although I do have to say I will always love Polly by Nirvana, it has happy memories attached to it :)
Music is so personal, and I am just now beginning to understand and accept that what I like is okay. I don't have to be like everyone else. Me being different in my preferences does not make me any less. I'm sure some may think that this is something I should've known years before but I am a late bloomer. I claim it proudly!!! I am enjoying the experience of getting to know who I truly am. I know that once I accept me I will not have the worry about whether anyone else likes me. What's important is me liking myself, happiness will come from there.
Although people should love me because I SOOO rock! ;)
Be happy with yourself. Once you can find that happiness within your own self you will not feel the need to look for it again in another.
Living Inspired,
Micah
I feel like I am finally starting to see myself, it's an amazing feeling! I have always been filled with doubt about who I am, who I should be, and whether or not I should share my true self with the world. Even admitting to the music I truly like was difficult for me. My mind would say things like "what if they don't like the music you like, then maybe they won't like you either".
I have always been drawn to people who were very confident in their likes and to be so doubtful about my likes made me feel even more lost. The fact that I was never into Kurt Cobain made me even more of an outcast! Especially with the groups I hung out with and the time I grew up. Although I do have to say I will always love Polly by Nirvana, it has happy memories attached to it :)
Music is so personal, and I am just now beginning to understand and accept that what I like is okay. I don't have to be like everyone else. Me being different in my preferences does not make me any less. I'm sure some may think that this is something I should've known years before but I am a late bloomer. I claim it proudly!!! I am enjoying the experience of getting to know who I truly am. I know that once I accept me I will not have the worry about whether anyone else likes me. What's important is me liking myself, happiness will come from there.
Although people should love me because I SOOO rock! ;)
Be happy with yourself. Once you can find that happiness within your own self you will not feel the need to look for it again in another.
Living Inspired,
Micah
Happy Friday!
The day is starting great! I spent the morning playing in bed with my kids :) I am optimistic and happy, even if there is no sunshine.
This song makes me smile, I hope it will make you smile too!
Happy Friday!!!!
This song makes me smile, I hope it will make you smile too!
Happy Friday!!!!
Thursday, August 27, 2009
Tuesday, August 25, 2009
Forgiveness
I've been having a harder time staying positive in the last few days. I have felt lonely. I have felt the lack of certain things I want in my life. I know that I have let a lot of things go recently to make room for newer, healthier things.
A part of me is acknowledging the lack of my desires. Another part of me feels as though this is a sort of test, a test of my faith. Do I really believe all the things I preach on this blog? Can I really look past the things that aren't exactly what I want them to be and still enjoy the present moment and where I am right now????
Yes, I can. I am blessed to be able to feel and be aware of where I am emotionally. Because I have worked on paying attention to my mood I was able to notice my sadness at an early stage and ask for assistance in moving past it. I received assistance in 2 forms yesterday.
I was lucky enough to have a friend stop by and get my mind onto more joyful ideas. We ended up having an enjoyable time.
The other help was an old journal. We are in the process of moving and my daughter found a journal I had written in 5 years ago. My Goodness was I in a bad place then! I seemed hell bent on destroying myself and punishing myself for.....I'm not even sure what! I started a relationship that, after reading what I wrote, was doomed from the beginning. I chose to be in a relationship with someone who disliked everything about who I was. From the beginning I wrote about the toxic behavior I was exposing myself to, and I also wrote about my complete belief that I deserved nothing more than the verbal abuse I was receiving. I put myself in a relationship where I was always viewed as something less then, not good enough and undeserving of basic kindness or love. I do not blame the person I was with because I believe I chose him for the fact that he was abusive and that is what I believed I deserved. I chose someone who couldn't love me. I chose someone who never wanted anything like me and I allowed him to remind me of how I was never anything he wanted as often as he could. I chose to have a relationship with someone who ignored me, shamed me for my past behaviors and who kept me believing that this was all I deserved and that I could never find better. I chose to be with someone who still loved someone else, who didn't have room to love me because of their own pain for what they did in their past. I chose someone who would never love me the way I, deep in my heart, wanted to be loved.
I wrote things like 'I don't deserve death, I deserve all the pain in the world. I ruin lives. No one should love me and I shouldn't expect love from anyone. I am worthless.'
I have never been that mean to a single soul in my entire life. I wouldn't EVER say those things to anyone, I couldn't bear to hurt someone that badly. I know the things people say can scar. I know the power words can hold, the damage they can inflict, yet I repeatedly said horrible things to myself. What the hell! Why? Why did I feel the need to hurt myself and allow others to hurt me? I have treated myself this way since around the age of 12. I beat myself up for almost 2 full decades! Why did I think I deserved to hurt so much??
I'm not sure I'll ever know the answer. What I do know is that I refuse to beat myself up anymore! Yes, I have made some poor decisions in my life. I obviously choose the hardest path I could find and was hell bent on abusing myself. I'm done with that now.
I forgive myself for all of those things I did to hurt me. I forgive myself for the things I did that hurt others. I forgive myself for the things I allowed others to do to hurt me and for the things I did to hurt myself that unintentionally hurt others. I forgive myself for thinking that I deserved to hurt so much.
This is hard. Of course the voice in my head says 'It doesn't have to be' so I ask for guidance from higher sources to show me how letting go of this pain and hurt and beliefs of unworthiness can be easy. I ask for an understanding of how to let go of all of this pain I have collected throughout the years. I ask for forgiveness from myself for all the damage I have caused to my heart and soul.
I ask for peace, love and kindness.
Living Inspired,
Micah
A part of me is acknowledging the lack of my desires. Another part of me feels as though this is a sort of test, a test of my faith. Do I really believe all the things I preach on this blog? Can I really look past the things that aren't exactly what I want them to be and still enjoy the present moment and where I am right now????
Yes, I can. I am blessed to be able to feel and be aware of where I am emotionally. Because I have worked on paying attention to my mood I was able to notice my sadness at an early stage and ask for assistance in moving past it. I received assistance in 2 forms yesterday.
I was lucky enough to have a friend stop by and get my mind onto more joyful ideas. We ended up having an enjoyable time.
The other help was an old journal. We are in the process of moving and my daughter found a journal I had written in 5 years ago. My Goodness was I in a bad place then! I seemed hell bent on destroying myself and punishing myself for.....I'm not even sure what! I started a relationship that, after reading what I wrote, was doomed from the beginning. I chose to be in a relationship with someone who disliked everything about who I was. From the beginning I wrote about the toxic behavior I was exposing myself to, and I also wrote about my complete belief that I deserved nothing more than the verbal abuse I was receiving. I put myself in a relationship where I was always viewed as something less then, not good enough and undeserving of basic kindness or love. I do not blame the person I was with because I believe I chose him for the fact that he was abusive and that is what I believed I deserved. I chose someone who couldn't love me. I chose someone who never wanted anything like me and I allowed him to remind me of how I was never anything he wanted as often as he could. I chose to have a relationship with someone who ignored me, shamed me for my past behaviors and who kept me believing that this was all I deserved and that I could never find better. I chose to be with someone who still loved someone else, who didn't have room to love me because of their own pain for what they did in their past. I chose someone who would never love me the way I, deep in my heart, wanted to be loved.
I wrote things like 'I don't deserve death, I deserve all the pain in the world. I ruin lives. No one should love me and I shouldn't expect love from anyone. I am worthless.'
I have never been that mean to a single soul in my entire life. I wouldn't EVER say those things to anyone, I couldn't bear to hurt someone that badly. I know the things people say can scar. I know the power words can hold, the damage they can inflict, yet I repeatedly said horrible things to myself. What the hell! Why? Why did I feel the need to hurt myself and allow others to hurt me? I have treated myself this way since around the age of 12. I beat myself up for almost 2 full decades! Why did I think I deserved to hurt so much??
I'm not sure I'll ever know the answer. What I do know is that I refuse to beat myself up anymore! Yes, I have made some poor decisions in my life. I obviously choose the hardest path I could find and was hell bent on abusing myself. I'm done with that now.
I forgive myself for all of those things I did to hurt me. I forgive myself for the things I did that hurt others. I forgive myself for the things I allowed others to do to hurt me and for the things I did to hurt myself that unintentionally hurt others. I forgive myself for thinking that I deserved to hurt so much.
This is hard. Of course the voice in my head says 'It doesn't have to be' so I ask for guidance from higher sources to show me how letting go of this pain and hurt and beliefs of unworthiness can be easy. I ask for an understanding of how to let go of all of this pain I have collected throughout the years. I ask for forgiveness from myself for all the damage I have caused to my heart and soul.
I ask for peace, love and kindness.
Living Inspired,
Micah
Thursday, August 20, 2009
What can I do today
Today I can let go of everything that I have used to define who I was. I feel like letting go of the idea of who I am is important. A lot of times opportunities come up and I will brush them off as not a possibility for me because of past experiences. I refuse to look at things from that perspective anymore. I can work on letting go of assumptions about people, their actions, feelings and desires. I can focus on noticing all of the positives in my life.
I have been paying more attention to my life. The things and experiences I have asked to have throughout the years. What I have now come to see that most, if not all of those requests have been answered. Of course since they were not asked for and answered exactly at the same time I didn't notice their manifestation in my life. I'm pleased to say I can see those blessings/gifts now. Now I notice my life. Before I lived it, basically complained about it, noticed the lack within it and focused on being anywhere but in it.
My view has changed drastically. I now live my life, I try to be present within every moment of my life. There is less of a fog between what I live and how I view my life. It's as if I am clear, Claritin Clear! ;) tehe!!!! I crack myself up! :)
Seriously though, I do feel clearer about my desires, my purpose, the reason I have been where I have been mentally and emotionally. I don't by any means have all the answers, and I can't see where I am going either, but I am not afraid of the journey anymore. I am excited about my life! I am welcoming the surprises and new experiences that are available to me. I don't fear life, what is there to fear? There are of course experiences and situations I do not want to have but I do believe that no thing or experience is going to kill me, not my soul. I feel lighter in my life.
So everyday I can let go of something, anything that I feel is holding me down. I can let go of the fear of life and I can float through with the peace of knowing that I will survive. This is a Day in the Park and I choose to enjoy it.
I hope you will too :)
Living Inspired,
Micah
I have been paying more attention to my life. The things and experiences I have asked to have throughout the years. What I have now come to see that most, if not all of those requests have been answered. Of course since they were not asked for and answered exactly at the same time I didn't notice their manifestation in my life. I'm pleased to say I can see those blessings/gifts now. Now I notice my life. Before I lived it, basically complained about it, noticed the lack within it and focused on being anywhere but in it.
My view has changed drastically. I now live my life, I try to be present within every moment of my life. There is less of a fog between what I live and how I view my life. It's as if I am clear, Claritin Clear! ;) tehe!!!! I crack myself up! :)
Seriously though, I do feel clearer about my desires, my purpose, the reason I have been where I have been mentally and emotionally. I don't by any means have all the answers, and I can't see where I am going either, but I am not afraid of the journey anymore. I am excited about my life! I am welcoming the surprises and new experiences that are available to me. I don't fear life, what is there to fear? There are of course experiences and situations I do not want to have but I do believe that no thing or experience is going to kill me, not my soul. I feel lighter in my life.
So everyday I can let go of something, anything that I feel is holding me down. I can let go of the fear of life and I can float through with the peace of knowing that I will survive. This is a Day in the Park and I choose to enjoy it.
I hope you will too :)
Living Inspired,
Micah
Wednesday, August 19, 2009
Music of the Moment
I found it!!!! I have loved this song forever and I lost it for a while. The video isn't great, I never really watched Dawson's Creek but the song is Kind Of Perfect!
Friday, August 14, 2009
Devil Snare
Today has the potential to be a very stressful day! There are a lot of different thoughts floating through my head. Most of them are filled with dread, worry, shame concern and fear. It's as though Devil's Snare is everywhere! I think the analogy of Devil's Snare being negative, fearful action and thoughts. Then the sunlight could represent our Consciousness.
When we shine the light of our consciousness, and don't allow ourselves to be so wrapped up in worldly ideas we free ourselves. When we stop and remember that this life experience is just that, a life experience then we can better handle the struggles in life. When we understand that this life is something that will end and at the same time, we will not cease to exist, then we can allow things to happen with less need to control the outcome.
I have, for most of my life, been a high strung person. I no longer am that type of person. There are days when I can get overwhelmed by life but I am pleased to say that those feelings very rarely are able to take complete control of me. I do live as if this life is a Day in the Park :)
So when Devil's Snare tries to keep hold of me I simply allow the light of consciousness shine. Life is good.
Living Inspired,
Micah
Wednesday, August 12, 2009
Hopeless Romantic
I am a hopeless romantic and I am proud of that. Given all of the heartbreak I could claim I am glad to be someone who still believes there is a love out there for me. I still believe in Fairy tales and Happy Endings. I refuse to allow myself to be jaded by the experiences I have already had. I believe that 'Happily Ever After' is an option and I will maintain that belief until the day I die.
A lot of people have difficulty understanding the blind desire I hold for love. They like to caution me and warn me that I should put my focus onto more pressing, realistic matters. As if love is not something realistic.
They like to tell me that I am great all by myself, which I am, and I accept. I have always wanted love though and I have denied myself that connection since a young age. It may have been the relationships that I observed through childhood that led me to the belief that love is something mystical and incredibly illusive. I've always believed that love, true love, was something for the very special. Not everyone would find it and no one could keep it forever. I lived the majority of my life with that belief, I refuse to live that way anymore.
I want to believe that love is for everyone. I want to believe that love is true and precious and worth everything! I want to believe in the goodness of the world and the most basic of those ideas, in my opinion, is love.
So I say Damn the Man, I can give love, I can receive love, I can be love. To all those who feel I am being naive then that will show their beliefs about love, not mine.
I wish you all the greatest love this life can offer. Be open to the possibilities that this life was meant to be something happy, joyful and loving and when you look at things that way they will prove you to be correct.
In Love,
Micah
A lot of people have difficulty understanding the blind desire I hold for love. They like to caution me and warn me that I should put my focus onto more pressing, realistic matters. As if love is not something realistic.
They like to tell me that I am great all by myself, which I am, and I accept. I have always wanted love though and I have denied myself that connection since a young age. It may have been the relationships that I observed through childhood that led me to the belief that love is something mystical and incredibly illusive. I've always believed that love, true love, was something for the very special. Not everyone would find it and no one could keep it forever. I lived the majority of my life with that belief, I refuse to live that way anymore.
I want to believe that love is for everyone. I want to believe that love is true and precious and worth everything! I want to believe in the goodness of the world and the most basic of those ideas, in my opinion, is love.
So I say Damn the Man, I can give love, I can receive love, I can be love. To all those who feel I am being naive then that will show their beliefs about love, not mine.
I wish you all the greatest love this life can offer. Be open to the possibilities that this life was meant to be something happy, joyful and loving and when you look at things that way they will prove you to be correct.
In Love,
Micah
Friday, August 7, 2009
Thursday, August 6, 2009
Stardust
The light that we hold within each of us is a glimmer of hope for a better life. We each hold unlimited potential within our souls! We can each be whatever it is we truly want to be!
One of my favorite movies is Stardust, it's a love story, fantasy style. I love this movie, it shows how we shine when we find love. When we find our happiness we literally begin to glow. I want to shine like that. I want my happiness to radiate from me so others can see it too.
This is a video I found that shows clips from the movie and I liked it. Enjoy!
One of my favorite movies is Stardust, it's a love story, fantasy style. I love this movie, it shows how we shine when we find love. When we find our happiness we literally begin to glow. I want to shine like that. I want my happiness to radiate from me so others can see it too.
This is a video I found that shows clips from the movie and I liked it. Enjoy!
The Alienation of Honesty
One of the things I have been running into lately is the alienation of honesty. I have been trying to live as honest as I can lately. Because of this I have had to admit to wrong doing and I am sure I have altered people's opinions of me in the process.
I'm tired of pretending to be someone I am not. I am tired of hiding who I am so I will have an easier time being accepted. I realize now that I don't need to be excepted to have a joyous life. I realize now that in order to have a more joyous life I need to be honest with myself about who I am. I need to accept my self and by doing that and being happy with who I am I find joy in my life. I ran past another quote from Mark Twain that addresses this: A man cannot be comfortable without his own approval- Mark Twain.
I agree completly with this. So I accept the Alienation of Honesty. I understand that by allowing myself to be true I may loss people who used to be part of my life. I also understand that those people never knew me to begin with so I don't find any of these changes to be unbearable. I am simply taking a new path and I look forward to the journey.
Living Inspired,
Micah
I'm tired of pretending to be someone I am not. I am tired of hiding who I am so I will have an easier time being accepted. I realize now that I don't need to be excepted to have a joyous life. I realize now that in order to have a more joyous life I need to be honest with myself about who I am. I need to accept my self and by doing that and being happy with who I am I find joy in my life. I ran past another quote from Mark Twain that addresses this: A man cannot be comfortable without his own approval- Mark Twain.
I agree completly with this. So I accept the Alienation of Honesty. I understand that by allowing myself to be true I may loss people who used to be part of my life. I also understand that those people never knew me to begin with so I don't find any of these changes to be unbearable. I am simply taking a new path and I look forward to the journey.
Living Inspired,
Micah
Tuesday, August 4, 2009
Moving On
I have been working for some time on changing my life to what I want it to be. In making the changes that I believe will offer me a more joyful, loving and happy life I have had to let go of things that meant a lot to me. Some days this can be a difficult thing to do. There are some days where I feel the lack of what I once had. I sometimes can feel anger or regret, I'm happy to say none of those feelings last long with me anymore.
I'm looking at it this way, I cleared out the things I didn't want to make room for the people, relationships and experiences I do want. I understand that there is going to be some time when that space remains empty, I'm okay with that. I don't feel abandoned, or neglected or as if I have made a wrong decision by letting certain people, relationships go. I think it was for the best for everyone concerned.
I want to acknowledge the growth that I feel within my soul. I want to give thanks for all of the positive changes that have appeared in my life and also say thanks for the changes I am not even aware of yet.
I know this life is good. I know this life is meant to be joy and I am thankful to be experiencing happiness in the here and now.
Living Inspired,
Micah
I'm looking at it this way, I cleared out the things I didn't want to make room for the people, relationships and experiences I do want. I understand that there is going to be some time when that space remains empty, I'm okay with that. I don't feel abandoned, or neglected or as if I have made a wrong decision by letting certain people, relationships go. I think it was for the best for everyone concerned.
I want to acknowledge the growth that I feel within my soul. I want to give thanks for all of the positive changes that have appeared in my life and also say thanks for the changes I am not even aware of yet.
I know this life is good. I know this life is meant to be joy and I am thankful to be experiencing happiness in the here and now.
Living Inspired,
Micah
Music of the Moment
This song just makes me happy. I can't help but to smile and walk around going Ya Ya :)
I love Missy! And I am truly All for Believing :)
I love Missy! And I am truly All for Believing :)
Monday, August 3, 2009
What I want
I just recently read a quote from Mark Twain that said: I can teach anybody how to get what they want out of life. The problem is that I can't find anybody who can tell me what they want.
I know things that I want for my life:
I want to never have to work again. I want to enjoy my time, my family, my loves, my passions and I want to enjoy every moment of this blessed life!
Now, knowing that I already have a lot of my wants and desires, and being able to see them in my life has made a great difference! I see the blessings in my life now, and by being able to see that I feel like I am letting go of the tight reign I used to hold on my ideas, prayers, wants and desires. I am giving the universe creative liberty in my life.
I ask for my desires. I asked for certain people to come back into my life, but I have let go of the absolute desire for it to be the exact person. I focus more on asking for the feelings and emotions and joy I experienced with that person and their positive effects on my personality. I look at every relationship I have ever had as an opportunity to find something great in another person. I take the best qualities of those relationships and ask for my dream.
I see it this way, it's like asking for an Interior Designer to fix up your place. Now you don't tell an Interior Designer, exactly what to buy. You give them examples of the style, colors and feel you want the room to have and then they have full reign. We trust an Interior Designer to set up everything in our house, our most precious area. We trust that they will do the best job they can so it try and please us. Why don't we, I, trust God or the Universe to do the same thing for me? This life is my home for now and I have decided to hire God to create my dreams for me. I trust that he will take my ideas and desires, and coupled with his knowledge and absolute creativity I'm positive that I will love the live I lead. I believe that as long as I maintain my positive outlook and focus on the blessings in my life I will only notice more.
I surrender to the Universe! I ask for my path to be laid before me in a clear and understandable nature.
Living Inspired,
Micah
I know things that I want for my life:
I want to never have to work again. I want to enjoy my time, my family, my loves, my passions and I want to enjoy every moment of this blessed life!
Now, knowing that I already have a lot of my wants and desires, and being able to see them in my life has made a great difference! I see the blessings in my life now, and by being able to see that I feel like I am letting go of the tight reign I used to hold on my ideas, prayers, wants and desires. I am giving the universe creative liberty in my life.
I ask for my desires. I asked for certain people to come back into my life, but I have let go of the absolute desire for it to be the exact person. I focus more on asking for the feelings and emotions and joy I experienced with that person and their positive effects on my personality. I look at every relationship I have ever had as an opportunity to find something great in another person. I take the best qualities of those relationships and ask for my dream.
I see it this way, it's like asking for an Interior Designer to fix up your place. Now you don't tell an Interior Designer, exactly what to buy. You give them examples of the style, colors and feel you want the room to have and then they have full reign. We trust an Interior Designer to set up everything in our house, our most precious area. We trust that they will do the best job they can so it try and please us. Why don't we, I, trust God or the Universe to do the same thing for me? This life is my home for now and I have decided to hire God to create my dreams for me. I trust that he will take my ideas and desires, and coupled with his knowledge and absolute creativity I'm positive that I will love the live I lead. I believe that as long as I maintain my positive outlook and focus on the blessings in my life I will only notice more.
I surrender to the Universe! I ask for my path to be laid before me in a clear and understandable nature.
Living Inspired,
Micah
Wednesday, July 29, 2009
Prayers
I have been doing most of my writing in Journals lately. I journal every night a thanks for the day. Instead of saying my old prayers....
My old prayers were the simple "Now I lay me down to sleep....." I would say them as if on auto pilot. I used to list everyone in a long drawn out list in my head. Like that boring guy who accepts an award and just pulls out a list and reads off the names. I had no real feeling in much of anything I said or asked for. I would end with something like, "Let Everyone be happy go-lucky and joyful", or "Home the Homeless and feed the hungry or make me rich and I will do it. :)"
Lately my prayers have been more intimate. I no longer say 'I pray the Lord my soul to keep', it's not necessary, no one is going to steal my soul. Now I say prayers of thanks and instead of asking for things that I want, I now ask what God wants of me. I now ask how I can serve this world. I have ended up helping in the simplest of ways. Standing by some one's car while they went to fill a gas can because they ran out of gas in the middle of the road. Giving up a Dentist appointment to a child who needed to be seen but did not have an appointment. These little ways I have helped others have a better day has helped me feel a stronger connection to God and to my life. In those simple ways that I have helped I have noticed that my life and the service I can provide, even the littlest things does make a difference in this world. I helped two people have a better, somewhat easier day. I showed compassion, instead of thinking about me, I thought of others and in those moments I felt more alive.
I do not need the recognition, I am telling these examples to help others realize that you don't have to have something special to help another. All you need is compassion and understanding and the ability to put yourself out there.
This life was meant to be good. I believe that we are meant to live in harmony, by letting go of the belief that there always has to be something in it for me I have found joy in my life.
I now pray for guidance, I pray for a better understanding of my purpose in this life. I no longer pray for protection, I am always protected and I am always safe.
You are too :)
Living Inspired,
Micah
My old prayers were the simple "Now I lay me down to sleep....." I would say them as if on auto pilot. I used to list everyone in a long drawn out list in my head. Like that boring guy who accepts an award and just pulls out a list and reads off the names. I had no real feeling in much of anything I said or asked for. I would end with something like, "Let Everyone be happy go-lucky and joyful", or "Home the Homeless and feed the hungry or make me rich and I will do it. :)"
Lately my prayers have been more intimate. I no longer say 'I pray the Lord my soul to keep', it's not necessary, no one is going to steal my soul. Now I say prayers of thanks and instead of asking for things that I want, I now ask what God wants of me. I now ask how I can serve this world. I have ended up helping in the simplest of ways. Standing by some one's car while they went to fill a gas can because they ran out of gas in the middle of the road. Giving up a Dentist appointment to a child who needed to be seen but did not have an appointment. These little ways I have helped others have a better day has helped me feel a stronger connection to God and to my life. In those simple ways that I have helped I have noticed that my life and the service I can provide, even the littlest things does make a difference in this world. I helped two people have a better, somewhat easier day. I showed compassion, instead of thinking about me, I thought of others and in those moments I felt more alive.
I do not need the recognition, I am telling these examples to help others realize that you don't have to have something special to help another. All you need is compassion and understanding and the ability to put yourself out there.
This life was meant to be good. I believe that we are meant to live in harmony, by letting go of the belief that there always has to be something in it for me I have found joy in my life.
I now pray for guidance, I pray for a better understanding of my purpose in this life. I no longer pray for protection, I am always protected and I am always safe.
You are too :)
Living Inspired,
Micah
Thursday, July 23, 2009
Gossip is Toxic
As everyone who reads my blog knows I am slowly trying to rid my body/mind/life toxic things. Whether it be food, thoughts or attitudes, I am working on getting rid of whatever I can in my life that makes me feel negative. Gossip is something I have decided upon today. Now, I will be the first to admit that I am, and have been, a consumer of Gossip, I have been glutenous when it came to gossip. I used to refer to myself as a gossip sponge I held on to everything I could get. No wonder I'm Fat! ;)
Most of us holds a Mental Bank of Gossip on every single person we meet. We hold their back story, their labels and status in file. We know where we rate them in importance and trustworthiness, what we can and cannot talk about with them, which subjects to stay away from and where we can pry. At least I know, and when I think about having that type of relationship it saddens me. Why can't we give information out without having someone judge us for it and 'swear not to tell' and spread it to everyone else who 'swears they won't tell'? It's like a disease! We feed upon it from an early age. It starts with the family view and then becomes stronger during school, which is where it's a breading ground.
We have website like Perezhilton.com, which is a site I check everyday! Why though? Why do I feel the need to check that site on an hourly basis to see what's going on in someone Else's life, or what tragedy befell the most popular pretty person. He calls names and talks tall shit and he is one of the most popular websites in America! Seriously!!!!?
It's not his fault though, we, I, go to that site. I want to see what's going on so I feel better about having that information or because I can relate to someone in their tragedy or I feel better about myself because She looks horrible in that picture!?! If you think about that, with your heart, does that make any sense? When we live life like that we feed ourselves with negative, sometimes hateful feelings, that are attached to those thoughts. Even if you shield yourself by trying to say something positive or disagreeing with the 'fat' label he put on that girl, you, I, still expose ourselves to that type of negativity all day long.
If it's not a website, family and friends can be great for the daily dose of crap information for your brain. They can tell you gossip about everyone in the family, and even people you don't know and most of the time you don't even have to ask for it. Actually most people, even me, when you get them going, can load a massive amount of useless information about things in life that don't matter.
That is of course depending on your perspective.
I've decided to change my perspective and not feed on negative information, positive for me please. If my body isn't eating empty crap like Double Stuff Oreos and Dr. Pepper why should my mind? I only want to bring healthy, positive, joyful happy things into my environment. I want to only hold on to the light in my life.
Every teaching I find says to focus on the positives in life. I have been slowly getting there, but I am getting there. So I encourage you all to try for a little while to not feed yourself with negativity, only allow as much positive as you can into your life. Maybe if we all work on focusing and holding on to only positivity then positivity could become as contagious as Laughter :) Wouldn't that be nice.
Living Inspired,
Micah
Most of us holds a Mental Bank of Gossip on every single person we meet. We hold their back story, their labels and status in file. We know where we rate them in importance and trustworthiness, what we can and cannot talk about with them, which subjects to stay away from and where we can pry. At least I know, and when I think about having that type of relationship it saddens me. Why can't we give information out without having someone judge us for it and 'swear not to tell' and spread it to everyone else who 'swears they won't tell'? It's like a disease! We feed upon it from an early age. It starts with the family view and then becomes stronger during school, which is where it's a breading ground.
We have website like Perezhilton.com, which is a site I check everyday! Why though? Why do I feel the need to check that site on an hourly basis to see what's going on in someone Else's life, or what tragedy befell the most popular pretty person. He calls names and talks tall shit and he is one of the most popular websites in America! Seriously!!!!?
It's not his fault though, we, I, go to that site. I want to see what's going on so I feel better about having that information or because I can relate to someone in their tragedy or I feel better about myself because She looks horrible in that picture!?! If you think about that, with your heart, does that make any sense? When we live life like that we feed ourselves with negative, sometimes hateful feelings, that are attached to those thoughts. Even if you shield yourself by trying to say something positive or disagreeing with the 'fat' label he put on that girl, you, I, still expose ourselves to that type of negativity all day long.
If it's not a website, family and friends can be great for the daily dose of crap information for your brain. They can tell you gossip about everyone in the family, and even people you don't know and most of the time you don't even have to ask for it. Actually most people, even me, when you get them going, can load a massive amount of useless information about things in life that don't matter.
That is of course depending on your perspective.
I've decided to change my perspective and not feed on negative information, positive for me please. If my body isn't eating empty crap like Double Stuff Oreos and Dr. Pepper why should my mind? I only want to bring healthy, positive, joyful happy things into my environment. I want to only hold on to the light in my life.
Every teaching I find says to focus on the positives in life. I have been slowly getting there, but I am getting there. So I encourage you all to try for a little while to not feed yourself with negativity, only allow as much positive as you can into your life. Maybe if we all work on focusing and holding on to only positivity then positivity could become as contagious as Laughter :) Wouldn't that be nice.
Living Inspired,
Micah
Wednesday, July 22, 2009
Lovin Life!
I wanted to take a moment and thank Life, the Universe, Source, Being, God, whatever you choose to call it! I've learned, and am still learning, how to flow. How to not get stuck in the pettiness and drama that used to catch me like glue, stuck to my shoe. Maybe that's why I have always loved that song from Tori Amos ;)
Anyway....I just wanted to vocalize my thanks. Life has been good to me lately. I learned in the Trust Your Vibes Book to ask for help from your High Self. To say 'Subconscious, Listen to my Higher Self'. I have been doing that and meditating, reading, eating clean. I feel like I have been living clean really. In the sense that I don't try to hold on to anything toxic. Any bad feeling I have I drop it as soon I feel it. I do not put myself in situations that are going to make me uncomfortable. If I do end up in a situation that makes me feel uncomfortable, I work on getting rid of whatever I'm holding onto that is making me feel like the situation is toxic. In those moments I strongly call upon my Higher Self! I ask for Guidance on how to move, and like Echhart Tolle explained to me, I wait. I simply accept the situation and ask for a different path. When I call upon my Higher Self it seems like at times I come up with ideas that I would've NEVER thought of with my head :) All of the sudden I go from a uncomfortable situation to laughing and feeling joy :)
I'll use a recent dinner situation as an example. My soon to be 3 year old son and I are eating dinner, meat and veggies, he wants dessert of course. He is smashing his meat with his sugar peas and not eating. I asked for Guidance and the next thing you know we are eating the meat like a T-Rex would and we eating veggie like a bunny would :) I went from frustrated to complete enjoyment of the moment! Life is good :)
I notice it in the work phone calls I make. I am paying more attention to the vibe I get, and give off, and adjusting accordingly :) I feel better when at work, I enjoy my job more. Although the day I can 'Call in Rich' is still a day I dream of ;)
I'm happy! I'm doing Yoga and Pilates and I ride my bike a lot. I've decided to stop being so hard on my body. Beating myself up for being fat isn't the route I think I should go. I want to go the kinder, softer, more loving way. I want to Stretch my body and learn how to make my body flow, I think that body will bring me more peace.
My diet consists of a lot of water! In the Trust Your Vibes book the Author mentioned that if your dehydrated your abilities diminish by 85%! So I am trying to boost mine by re hydrating ;) I feel good when I drink water, I did not go through caffeine withdrawal thank goodness!
When something happens now I have been easier to get past it. I'm not as sticky :), things are staring to slide off of me, it's nice!
I feel an overwhelming sense of well being :)
So Thank You Universe!
Enjoy the Tori Video........
Anyway....I just wanted to vocalize my thanks. Life has been good to me lately. I learned in the Trust Your Vibes Book to ask for help from your High Self. To say 'Subconscious, Listen to my Higher Self'. I have been doing that and meditating, reading, eating clean. I feel like I have been living clean really. In the sense that I don't try to hold on to anything toxic. Any bad feeling I have I drop it as soon I feel it. I do not put myself in situations that are going to make me uncomfortable. If I do end up in a situation that makes me feel uncomfortable, I work on getting rid of whatever I'm holding onto that is making me feel like the situation is toxic. In those moments I strongly call upon my Higher Self! I ask for Guidance on how to move, and like Echhart Tolle explained to me, I wait. I simply accept the situation and ask for a different path. When I call upon my Higher Self it seems like at times I come up with ideas that I would've NEVER thought of with my head :) All of the sudden I go from a uncomfortable situation to laughing and feeling joy :)
I'll use a recent dinner situation as an example. My soon to be 3 year old son and I are eating dinner, meat and veggies, he wants dessert of course. He is smashing his meat with his sugar peas and not eating. I asked for Guidance and the next thing you know we are eating the meat like a T-Rex would and we eating veggie like a bunny would :) I went from frustrated to complete enjoyment of the moment! Life is good :)
I notice it in the work phone calls I make. I am paying more attention to the vibe I get, and give off, and adjusting accordingly :) I feel better when at work, I enjoy my job more. Although the day I can 'Call in Rich' is still a day I dream of ;)
I'm happy! I'm doing Yoga and Pilates and I ride my bike a lot. I've decided to stop being so hard on my body. Beating myself up for being fat isn't the route I think I should go. I want to go the kinder, softer, more loving way. I want to Stretch my body and learn how to make my body flow, I think that body will bring me more peace.
My diet consists of a lot of water! In the Trust Your Vibes book the Author mentioned that if your dehydrated your abilities diminish by 85%! So I am trying to boost mine by re hydrating ;) I feel good when I drink water, I did not go through caffeine withdrawal thank goodness!
When something happens now I have been easier to get past it. I'm not as sticky :), things are staring to slide off of me, it's nice!
I feel an overwhelming sense of well being :)
So Thank You Universe!
Enjoy the Tori Video........
Friday, July 17, 2009
It's been a while
It's been a while since I have posted. I did the 5K walk/run and did a lot more walking than running. I finished in 36 mins and I am happy with that. The amount of people was completely overwhelming to me, fear got to me, I didn't quit though and I am proud of myself. I know next year I will do much better.
I finished Seth Speaks and it has really opened up my mind to different ideas. I'm not sure I can exactly explain anything I read but I will say the book was amazing and I reccommend it highly!
I'm currently listening to a book called Trust Your Vibes by Sonja Choquette, I am really enjoying it. I started it at the perfect time, the book covers topics that I am currently having difficultiy with in my own life.
It is teaching me to live my life and allow others to live thiers.
I wish peace and happiness to you all.
Living Inspired,
Micah
I finished Seth Speaks and it has really opened up my mind to different ideas. I'm not sure I can exactly explain anything I read but I will say the book was amazing and I reccommend it highly!
I'm currently listening to a book called Trust Your Vibes by Sonja Choquette, I am really enjoying it. I started it at the perfect time, the book covers topics that I am currently having difficultiy with in my own life.
It is teaching me to live my life and allow others to live thiers.
I wish peace and happiness to you all.
Living Inspired,
Micah
Wednesday, July 8, 2009
Waiting......
By Eckhart Tolle
This piece is taken from Eckhart Tolle’s book, The Power of Now.
Are you waiting to start living? If you develop such a mind pattern, no matter what you achieve or get, the present will never be good enough; the future will always seem better. A perfect recipe for permanent dissatisfaction and non-fulfillment, don’t you agree?
How much of your life do you spend waiting? What I call ’small-scale waiting’ is waiting in line at the post office, in a traffic jam, at the airport, or waiting for someone to arrive, to finish work, and so on. ‘Large-scale waiting’ is waiting for the next vacation, for a better job, for the children to grow up, for a truly meaningful relationship, for success, to make money, to be important, to become enlightened. It is not uncommon for people to spend their whole life waiting to start living.
Waiting is a state of mind. Basically, it means that you want the future; you don’t want the present. You don’t want what you’ve got, and you want what you haven’t got. With every kind of waiting, you unconsciously create inner conflict between your here and now, where you don’t want to be, and the projected future, where you want to be. This greatly reduces the quality of your life by making you lose the present.
There is nothing wrong with striving to improve your life situation. You can improve your life situation, but you cannot improve your life. Life is primary. Life is your deepest inner Being. It is already whole, complete, perfect. Your life situation consists of your circumstances and your experiences. There is nothing wrong with setting goals and striving to achieve things. The mistake lies in using it as a substitute for the feeling of life, for Being. The only point of access for that is the Now. You are then like an architect who pays no attention to the foundation of a building but spends a lot of time working on the superstructure.
For example, many people are waiting for prosperity. It cannot come in the future. When you honor, acknowledge, and fully accept your present reality - where you are, who you are, what you are doing right now - when you fully accept what you have got, you are grateful for what you have got, grateful for what is, grateful for Being. Gratitude for the present moment and the fullness of life now is true prosperity. It cannot come in the future….
So give up waiting as a state of mind. When you catch yourself slipping into waiting, snap out of it. Come into the present moment. Just be, and enjoy being.
This piece is taken from Eckhart Tolle’s book, The Power of Now.
This is the lesson I need to work on now. I was honoring the present moment but then I went into the future and forgot about the present. I am glad that I have these resources to help me :)
Living Inspired,
Micah
This piece is taken from Eckhart Tolle’s book, The Power of Now.
Are you waiting to start living? If you develop such a mind pattern, no matter what you achieve or get, the present will never be good enough; the future will always seem better. A perfect recipe for permanent dissatisfaction and non-fulfillment, don’t you agree?
How much of your life do you spend waiting? What I call ’small-scale waiting’ is waiting in line at the post office, in a traffic jam, at the airport, or waiting for someone to arrive, to finish work, and so on. ‘Large-scale waiting’ is waiting for the next vacation, for a better job, for the children to grow up, for a truly meaningful relationship, for success, to make money, to be important, to become enlightened. It is not uncommon for people to spend their whole life waiting to start living.
Waiting is a state of mind. Basically, it means that you want the future; you don’t want the present. You don’t want what you’ve got, and you want what you haven’t got. With every kind of waiting, you unconsciously create inner conflict between your here and now, where you don’t want to be, and the projected future, where you want to be. This greatly reduces the quality of your life by making you lose the present.
There is nothing wrong with striving to improve your life situation. You can improve your life situation, but you cannot improve your life. Life is primary. Life is your deepest inner Being. It is already whole, complete, perfect. Your life situation consists of your circumstances and your experiences. There is nothing wrong with setting goals and striving to achieve things. The mistake lies in using it as a substitute for the feeling of life, for Being. The only point of access for that is the Now. You are then like an architect who pays no attention to the foundation of a building but spends a lot of time working on the superstructure.
For example, many people are waiting for prosperity. It cannot come in the future. When you honor, acknowledge, and fully accept your present reality - where you are, who you are, what you are doing right now - when you fully accept what you have got, you are grateful for what you have got, grateful for what is, grateful for Being. Gratitude for the present moment and the fullness of life now is true prosperity. It cannot come in the future….
So give up waiting as a state of mind. When you catch yourself slipping into waiting, snap out of it. Come into the present moment. Just be, and enjoy being.
This piece is taken from Eckhart Tolle’s book, The Power of Now.
This is the lesson I need to work on now. I was honoring the present moment but then I went into the future and forgot about the present. I am glad that I have these resources to help me :)
Living Inspired,
Micah
Music of the moment/ Letting go
This is a beautiful song by Missy Higgins. My dream life :)
I think I figured out what has gotten me down today, I have been focusing on the lack of my dreams. I have recently put out, what I believe, is the most basic desire of my heart. I have looked inside of myself and asked for everything that I could ever want. I admitted to a desire that I have always denied myself.
That desire is still heavy, I can tell that I am still attached to it, the lack of it. This is something I will have to work on getting past. The only way I know how to work on getting past the fear that it will never come to be is............
I'm still not sure. This is still a learning process for me, I do not have all the answers.
For now I am trying to divert my attention from the subject completely. I am trying to focus on the good things that I have recieved and give myself time to come to terms with that desire.
I hope to eventually be able to let go of this and enjoy all in my life.
Living Inspired,
Micah
I think I figured out what has gotten me down today, I have been focusing on the lack of my dreams. I have recently put out, what I believe, is the most basic desire of my heart. I have looked inside of myself and asked for everything that I could ever want. I admitted to a desire that I have always denied myself.
That desire is still heavy, I can tell that I am still attached to it, the lack of it. This is something I will have to work on getting past. The only way I know how to work on getting past the fear that it will never come to be is............
I'm still not sure. This is still a learning process for me, I do not have all the answers.
For now I am trying to divert my attention from the subject completely. I am trying to focus on the good things that I have recieved and give myself time to come to terms with that desire.
I hope to eventually be able to let go of this and enjoy all in my life.
Living Inspired,
Micah
Practice Makes Perfect
I was looking through one of my journals a few nights back, I write a lot, and most of what I write is in written journals. My posts here are some things I have to say, but not all. I have been meaning to put them on here but I have not figured out the way I want to set things up.
Anyway....last night I found one of my journals and I was reading it through. It's from late Feb and early March. I was encouraged that I still have the same desires for my life that I did even a few months ago. I was encouraged by the fact that I was saying the right things to myself back then. I know that the differences between now and then are the conviction in which I say those things to myself.
I am pleased to see the growth in my confidence and love for myself. I am pleased to know that I am on the right path. That proof that I am moving forward helps me on days like today when I feel less of a connection to all that is good.
I am able to realize that there is some belief that I am holding on to that is clouding my connection with all that is good. In knowing and understanding that my beliefs and negativity that I am holding onto is the only reason I feel badly, I am better set up to deal with this situation. No one controls my life or my abundance, I am the only one who can restrict what I receive.
In knowing and accepting that, then I also know that I can change how I feel by understanding why I feel the way I do. Of course I haven't figured out why I am down today but I know that I will.
In times like these, when I feel lack I must be very careful to maintain kindness for myself. It is extremely easy to start blaming and saying things like, 'You're never gonna get it' or ' See you fell off again, you are worthless, just give up now'. Those are the things part of me says when I feel down, I must be very careful to not listen and agree with that voice. If I do I am giving up on myself.
So today I am working on being kind to myself. I working on being understanding and loving and not judging. I know I will make it past today and I know I will find my peace and happiness again. This is merely a block within myself that I must let go of, I will be okay.
I will use my old writings to remind me of my progress. I will write down what I feel is holding me in this place of sadness and I will move on.
Living Inspired,
Micah
Anyway....last night I found one of my journals and I was reading it through. It's from late Feb and early March. I was encouraged that I still have the same desires for my life that I did even a few months ago. I was encouraged by the fact that I was saying the right things to myself back then. I know that the differences between now and then are the conviction in which I say those things to myself.
I am pleased to see the growth in my confidence and love for myself. I am pleased to know that I am on the right path. That proof that I am moving forward helps me on days like today when I feel less of a connection to all that is good.
I am able to realize that there is some belief that I am holding on to that is clouding my connection with all that is good. In knowing and understanding that my beliefs and negativity that I am holding onto is the only reason I feel badly, I am better set up to deal with this situation. No one controls my life or my abundance, I am the only one who can restrict what I receive.
In knowing and accepting that, then I also know that I can change how I feel by understanding why I feel the way I do. Of course I haven't figured out why I am down today but I know that I will.
In times like these, when I feel lack I must be very careful to maintain kindness for myself. It is extremely easy to start blaming and saying things like, 'You're never gonna get it' or ' See you fell off again, you are worthless, just give up now'. Those are the things part of me says when I feel down, I must be very careful to not listen and agree with that voice. If I do I am giving up on myself.
So today I am working on being kind to myself. I working on being understanding and loving and not judging. I know I will make it past today and I know I will find my peace and happiness again. This is merely a block within myself that I must let go of, I will be okay.
I will use my old writings to remind me of my progress. I will write down what I feel is holding me in this place of sadness and I will move on.
Living Inspired,
Micah
Tuesday, July 7, 2009
Garden Of Eden
I write all the time, a lot of my ideas are on paper and I came across one about the Garden Of Eden story.
I think that we should consider that the Bible and what it tells us may not be the complete truth. There are a ton of different scenarios that could've brought us to where we are now, I think it is important to explore those ideas. Challenge what you have been taught, it's not wrong to question different ideas, in doing so I believe you can find a better understanding of life and what it means to be here. The writing I came across was about how I am sceptical about the details of that story, about how maybe our original sin was not taking the apple, but the sin of the guilt Adam and Eve felt.
That maybe we never left the Garden Of Eden, maybe Adam and Eve felt as though they should be punished and they created the belief that God had banished them. It's a thought. It's an idea to consider. I know I have personally taken some wonderful things, people, opportunities out of my life because I did not feel as though I was worthy. Who is to say Adam and Eve did not do the same?
That one story is the basis of the way we are taught to look at God. What if the people who told it got it wrong? Maybe their perception was altered somehow and they believed that God would be angry and not forgive them, and that thought, the thought that God lacked enough compassion and love to forgive them of their transgressions, is what the real sin is all about????
What if we were never banished? What if that one thought caused the first disconnection, misalignment, separation between God and us? Or maybe the actual eating of the fruit, made us deaf to be able to hear God clearly anymore. There are a ton of different ways this story could've gone. If Adam and Eve had been able to hear God before and now they cannot, that would make sense that they would feel an even greater sense of disconnection and loss and lack.
Any of these ideas could be possibilities, any of these could be the main story of the Bible. Although, I do think if we truly let our hearts lead us, and not Man, we would never have need for the Bible. I'll write more on that thought later.....
If it is possible that we maybe were never were banished, but instead believed that thought when it was only an illusion of our mind, that would make this the Garden Of Eden! It makes perfect sense to me! Look at all this Earth has to offer! There are so many beautiful, wonderful places on this planet.
This Earth is set up to accommodate whatever temperature, climate, environment you want, all you need to do is choose where you want to live. What is it you want to see? Anything you want, it's available to you. We have the starts and planets and clouds above our heads and flowers at our feet. Everything around us was made for beauty and to be appreciated. Sounds the the Garden Of Eden to me :)
Consider It.
Living Inspired,
Micah
Amazing! Seth Speaks
I just received the book Seth Speaks today. It was a book that they recommended in the Abraham-Hicks recordings. I have barely read any of it, but what I have read has made me so happy!
I'll write more about this when I have read more :)
Living Inspired,
Micah
I'll write more about this when I have read more :)
Living Inspired,
Micah
Ready to Run!
I signed up for my local 5K Walk/Run yesterday. I wanted to sign up last year but I didn't. I didn't sign up because I had every excuse I could find not to. I wasn't in shape, I hadn't trained, I didn't want to embarrass myself by looking stupid trying something new.
All of those excuses are still valid and, if I wanted, I could still use them today. I've decided to go a different route. I've decided to quit making excuses about how I am not the person I want to be and instead, work on being that person. So I have doing the things that I see myself doing in the life I truly want.
I want to run. I have been an asthmatic for my whole life. I never did Gym because I always had and excuse, a Dr's note, or someone standing behind me saying that I couldn't or shouldn't do whatever because I was limited in my breath. I know those people were trying to keep me safe and I do not hold any anger towards them or their need to protect me. That limit that I accepted as a child held on to me into my adulthood. I didn't try to do things and I became the one who said the I couldn'ts and I shouldn'ts. I had accepted those limits and had decided that they were my reality. I accepted I was weak, I would never be the person I wanted to be because I was not physically able to become that person. I accepted defeat.
Last year I began to try running. I started with walking then progressed and I was shocked at how much I enjoyed the power I felt coursing through my blood when I ran. I felt powerful and connected. I ran all last summer and dropped 30 lbs, I felt the best I have ever in my life, physically. Winter came and I lost that connection, again I retreated to my cave.
This year I say 'Damn the Man' I am going to do the 5K. I don't care that it's this Saturday and I haven't trained. This is not a competition, I am not doing this to prove I can be better than someone else. I am doing this to prove to myself that I can do anything I want, I need only believe in myself. This is an opportunity for me to show myself, my God and everyone, that I am more than I have led anyone to believe. Inside of me is an amazing woman and I want to start showing that side of me.
Of course there is fear within me. Telling me I can't do it, I will embarrass myself, I'm not properly prepared, and every other negative thing that can possibly relate to this subject. I know though that I have a choice, I can listen to that voice that sounds like it's genuinely concerned for me and my safety or, I can decide ignore that voice. As genuine and loving as it sounds I know it is only my fear, it is trying to convince me to stay safe in my little cave where I will never get hurt and I will never feel pain. I know that that while that cave may keep me safe from harm it also closes me off from experiencing anything in my life!
I want adventure! I want to see what I am capable of doing, I want to test my limits for once. Instead of listening to what others think I am capable of I would like to know what I am capable of because I have tried. I want have the experience of knowing myself and what I am made of.
So this Saturday I am going to do a 5K!!!! I am excited and at the same time scared outta my mind! I've decided to use my fear to push me farther into things instead of away. I've decided that the things I have the most fear about attempting are probably the most important things I should do, because in doing them the fear will have to become something else. The fear will change into a different emotion. Maybe my fear will lead me to exaltation????? You never know :) I am willing and open to try and find out what comes of moving past my fear.
What do you hold yourself back from trying because of fear? What do you think is beyond the fear? What emotion do you think you may be able to find past your fear?
I say try to do something your afraid of, even if it's contacting someone you thought would never speak to you again. What's the worse that could happen??? They still don't want to talk to you? At least you move past yourself and your fear enough to test your limits. Maybe by facing that fear, and finding out they don't want to have anything to do with you, you might find peace. Maybe that fear would turn into peace because you will then know that part of your life is gone, it's time to move on and you can let go with the understanding that you did not hold yourself back with fear. You tested your limits and found where they lie, now you know and now you can move on to another opportunity.
Consider It.
Living Inspired,
Micah
All of those excuses are still valid and, if I wanted, I could still use them today. I've decided to go a different route. I've decided to quit making excuses about how I am not the person I want to be and instead, work on being that person. So I have doing the things that I see myself doing in the life I truly want.
I want to run. I have been an asthmatic for my whole life. I never did Gym because I always had and excuse, a Dr's note, or someone standing behind me saying that I couldn't or shouldn't do whatever because I was limited in my breath. I know those people were trying to keep me safe and I do not hold any anger towards them or their need to protect me. That limit that I accepted as a child held on to me into my adulthood. I didn't try to do things and I became the one who said the I couldn'ts and I shouldn'ts. I had accepted those limits and had decided that they were my reality. I accepted I was weak, I would never be the person I wanted to be because I was not physically able to become that person. I accepted defeat.
Last year I began to try running. I started with walking then progressed and I was shocked at how much I enjoyed the power I felt coursing through my blood when I ran. I felt powerful and connected. I ran all last summer and dropped 30 lbs, I felt the best I have ever in my life, physically. Winter came and I lost that connection, again I retreated to my cave.
This year I say 'Damn the Man' I am going to do the 5K. I don't care that it's this Saturday and I haven't trained. This is not a competition, I am not doing this to prove I can be better than someone else. I am doing this to prove to myself that I can do anything I want, I need only believe in myself. This is an opportunity for me to show myself, my God and everyone, that I am more than I have led anyone to believe. Inside of me is an amazing woman and I want to start showing that side of me.
Of course there is fear within me. Telling me I can't do it, I will embarrass myself, I'm not properly prepared, and every other negative thing that can possibly relate to this subject. I know though that I have a choice, I can listen to that voice that sounds like it's genuinely concerned for me and my safety or, I can decide ignore that voice. As genuine and loving as it sounds I know it is only my fear, it is trying to convince me to stay safe in my little cave where I will never get hurt and I will never feel pain. I know that that while that cave may keep me safe from harm it also closes me off from experiencing anything in my life!
I want adventure! I want to see what I am capable of doing, I want to test my limits for once. Instead of listening to what others think I am capable of I would like to know what I am capable of because I have tried. I want have the experience of knowing myself and what I am made of.
So this Saturday I am going to do a 5K!!!! I am excited and at the same time scared outta my mind! I've decided to use my fear to push me farther into things instead of away. I've decided that the things I have the most fear about attempting are probably the most important things I should do, because in doing them the fear will have to become something else. The fear will change into a different emotion. Maybe my fear will lead me to exaltation????? You never know :) I am willing and open to try and find out what comes of moving past my fear.
What do you hold yourself back from trying because of fear? What do you think is beyond the fear? What emotion do you think you may be able to find past your fear?
I say try to do something your afraid of, even if it's contacting someone you thought would never speak to you again. What's the worse that could happen??? They still don't want to talk to you? At least you move past yourself and your fear enough to test your limits. Maybe by facing that fear, and finding out they don't want to have anything to do with you, you might find peace. Maybe that fear would turn into peace because you will then know that part of your life is gone, it's time to move on and you can let go with the understanding that you did not hold yourself back with fear. You tested your limits and found where they lie, now you know and now you can move on to another opportunity.
Consider It.
Living Inspired,
Micah
Monday, July 6, 2009
The Life I Want to Live....
The life I want to live is fun, easy going and has purpose. My life now is those things, on a small scale, I want more though, because I know it's available to me.
I can see myself lying on a hammock with my love, enjoying the sun and the breeze and having an easy, loving conversation with one another. There is no rush in this time, it seems to stand still. I can see our large backyard and lake that we live on. I have always found peace near water, and I feel blessed everytime I am able to look out the window and know that my dream is now reality.
Things in this life are very easy going. We have family over all the time and everyone gets along. There is never any jealousy or feelings of ill will here. My home is open and full of love and laughter.
We live life unrushed, we enjoy that luxury. My love and I both have no need for work. We don't have to bring in a paycheck because we have an abundance of funds available to us. We do not work, but we do give back, in our own ways.
I do Public Speaking and Charity work. I feel blessed everyday that I am able to do this. It is never a burden or something that overwhelms me in a negative way. I always have new ideas and am pleased that I have the funds to be able to try these new ideas that will help others make their life what they want it to be.
I love being able to introduce myself and asking how I can help knowing full well that however I am able to help I will. I love saying 'Hi, I am Micah. How can we help you?' I love running my Charity. I love helping the women we help. I do not feel the pride of 'look what I did' but I do feel the pride of knowing that through me God I was able to help women create the dreams they wanted. I love that I don't throw my ideas upon people. I help them to become their own dream. I'm healthy and find a thrilling happiness in every moment of my life, as if I am brand new to this world and open to every possiblilty imaginable.
I love the relationships I have in my life. Every relationship is pleasant and benefical. Commnication is easy flowing between everyone around me. My children are happy, caring, loving people. They learned early enough to not live within the limits of others and they both excel at whatever brings them pleasure, and I am thankful that they find pleasure in positive healthy habits.
My love is everything I could ask for, I know this because I asked for him. I asked for certain qualities in a partner, he has those and more! Everyday I thank God he is in my life. We have so much fun together! It's as if we are children in a funland. Every expeirence possible is on the table and we need only choose to have, and we do. We are different enough in personality to enjoy several different things. We are both trusting and respectful enough of the other to try things we wouldn't normally like because we know the other will find real pleasure in that expeirence. We both feel an extreme attraction to one another, there is no doubt about whether we are one anothers'. It's an amazing feeling and we both love the way that our connection feels.
Love and happiness flow around and through us. The lives of the ones we touch are better because they have known us and vise versa. We are aware of the grace we have recived in this life and we never take it for granted. We live a life of love and joy and laughter and peace, and I am thankful everyday.
Living Inspired,
Micah
I can see myself lying on a hammock with my love, enjoying the sun and the breeze and having an easy, loving conversation with one another. There is no rush in this time, it seems to stand still. I can see our large backyard and lake that we live on. I have always found peace near water, and I feel blessed everytime I am able to look out the window and know that my dream is now reality.
Things in this life are very easy going. We have family over all the time and everyone gets along. There is never any jealousy or feelings of ill will here. My home is open and full of love and laughter.
We live life unrushed, we enjoy that luxury. My love and I both have no need for work. We don't have to bring in a paycheck because we have an abundance of funds available to us. We do not work, but we do give back, in our own ways.
I do Public Speaking and Charity work. I feel blessed everyday that I am able to do this. It is never a burden or something that overwhelms me in a negative way. I always have new ideas and am pleased that I have the funds to be able to try these new ideas that will help others make their life what they want it to be.
I love being able to introduce myself and asking how I can help knowing full well that however I am able to help I will. I love saying 'Hi, I am Micah. How can we help you?' I love running my Charity. I love helping the women we help. I do not feel the pride of 'look what I did' but I do feel the pride of knowing that through me God I was able to help women create the dreams they wanted. I love that I don't throw my ideas upon people. I help them to become their own dream. I'm healthy and find a thrilling happiness in every moment of my life, as if I am brand new to this world and open to every possiblilty imaginable.
I love the relationships I have in my life. Every relationship is pleasant and benefical. Commnication is easy flowing between everyone around me. My children are happy, caring, loving people. They learned early enough to not live within the limits of others and they both excel at whatever brings them pleasure, and I am thankful that they find pleasure in positive healthy habits.
My love is everything I could ask for, I know this because I asked for him. I asked for certain qualities in a partner, he has those and more! Everyday I thank God he is in my life. We have so much fun together! It's as if we are children in a funland. Every expeirence possible is on the table and we need only choose to have, and we do. We are different enough in personality to enjoy several different things. We are both trusting and respectful enough of the other to try things we wouldn't normally like because we know the other will find real pleasure in that expeirence. We both feel an extreme attraction to one another, there is no doubt about whether we are one anothers'. It's an amazing feeling and we both love the way that our connection feels.
Love and happiness flow around and through us. The lives of the ones we touch are better because they have known us and vise versa. We are aware of the grace we have recived in this life and we never take it for granted. We live a life of love and joy and laughter and peace, and I am thankful everyday.
Living Inspired,
Micah
Why I am powerful....
I am powerful because I know I am a part of God. I know that abundance is mine to recieve because I am a part of God, and God is ever abundant! I do not fear admitting my love or connection to God, for I know the only way to recieve my dreams and abundance is to nuture that connection. I know that by not only admitting my connection but taking the time to try and explain it to others I am doing exactly what it is I was meant to do in this life. I was meant to show God through me, we are all meant to do that. That is what I believe this whole life is about, understanding our connection and allowing the connection to speak for itself. By using the abundance of grace I recieve to show others a better life through God I am living my purpose on Earth.
I believe God gives us whatever it is we need to make our dreams a reality and the only reason we do not recieve that grace is because we deny it. We believe man, we believe our mind and Earthly, grounded ideas. When we let go of the limits on our thoughts and dreams we begin to see the light. It is the light within ourselves, the light we possess because we are a part of God, that leads us to our ultimate reality. The feeling of happiness and warmth and joy, the glowing of my heart is the way I know that I am on the right path. When I write these things I feel a connection to what I am saying. I feel the light within me glowing, I believe I feel that way because I am doing what's right. I am acknowleging God, his power, his abundance, and my absloute connection to him. In his power I am powerful. In his abundance I am abundant. In God I am everything I was meant to be.
Living Inspired,
Micah
I believe God gives us whatever it is we need to make our dreams a reality and the only reason we do not recieve that grace is because we deny it. We believe man, we believe our mind and Earthly, grounded ideas. When we let go of the limits on our thoughts and dreams we begin to see the light. It is the light within ourselves, the light we possess because we are a part of God, that leads us to our ultimate reality. The feeling of happiness and warmth and joy, the glowing of my heart is the way I know that I am on the right path. When I write these things I feel a connection to what I am saying. I feel the light within me glowing, I believe I feel that way because I am doing what's right. I am acknowleging God, his power, his abundance, and my absloute connection to him. In his power I am powerful. In his abundance I am abundant. In God I am everything I was meant to be.
Living Inspired,
Micah
Possibilities
I am starting to understand that the only real reason I do not have what I want in my life is because I never believed myself worthy of having what I want. My belief that I lacked has held me in place my entire life. My belief that I need outside sources to find me worthy has given those outside sources the control of my life. The reason I have felt no control over my life is because I have had none. I had given it away to anyone who would take it.
Anyone who had an opinion I believed. Anyone who knew what I should do with my life and how I should live my life I listened to. When I was told that that I lacked this or that I believed it, by believing others, I gave them the power to create my world.
Every dream I have had for myself I have allowed to it to be scrutinized by others. I have given others the power, not only to dissect my dreams and break them down to the point where they no longer seem to be a valid idea but, I have also let others tell me that there NO POSSIBLE way the things I wanted for myself could ever be a reality. I was dreaming TOO BIG. I would get the , 'How cute that she thinks she can do that' look or response to any of my ideas. Before that look or response would be the end of any thought I'd have. I'd drop it right there and then because if 'They' didn't find me worthy of having my dream how could I possibly be worthy of it.
It didn't occur to me until recently that no one was trying to squash my dreams. They believed that there was no possible way for me to have what I dreamed only because they were unable to make their own dreams a reality. They cautioned me to protect me, not to hold me back. Now that I know that, now that I know that no one knows the limits of me, I find confidence in my dreams. I have not only begun to dream again, I have actual begun to expect with excitement the receiving of my greatest ideas!!!
I have started to understand that I am only limited by what I believe and if I believe that within God, within myself, I am abundant than that is what I am able to receive. When I start to accept all that I am and realize the only way I can see lack is to believe in it than I know I am now on my way to my dreams.
I can have, do and be whatever it is I want! I am starting to know that now. I am starting to let go of the beliefs that tied me to misery. I am starting to clear my path and to allow the true abundance that is available to me into my life. I understand that the only thing that blocks all of God's abundance in my life is me. If I am true to my heart and soul and the belief that I am here for a purpose and that my ideas and dreams are worthy of being reality then I will begin to receive those dreams within my real life. In this knowledge I find peace, I find happiness, joy and excitement about my life, my possibilities and the power I have to create a better place.
I feel blessed!
Living Inspired,
Micah
Anyone who had an opinion I believed. Anyone who knew what I should do with my life and how I should live my life I listened to. When I was told that that I lacked this or that I believed it, by believing others, I gave them the power to create my world.
Every dream I have had for myself I have allowed to it to be scrutinized by others. I have given others the power, not only to dissect my dreams and break them down to the point where they no longer seem to be a valid idea but, I have also let others tell me that there NO POSSIBLE way the things I wanted for myself could ever be a reality. I was dreaming TOO BIG. I would get the , 'How cute that she thinks she can do that' look or response to any of my ideas. Before that look or response would be the end of any thought I'd have. I'd drop it right there and then because if 'They' didn't find me worthy of having my dream how could I possibly be worthy of it.
It didn't occur to me until recently that no one was trying to squash my dreams. They believed that there was no possible way for me to have what I dreamed only because they were unable to make their own dreams a reality. They cautioned me to protect me, not to hold me back. Now that I know that, now that I know that no one knows the limits of me, I find confidence in my dreams. I have not only begun to dream again, I have actual begun to expect with excitement the receiving of my greatest ideas!!!
I have started to understand that I am only limited by what I believe and if I believe that within God, within myself, I am abundant than that is what I am able to receive. When I start to accept all that I am and realize the only way I can see lack is to believe in it than I know I am now on my way to my dreams.
I can have, do and be whatever it is I want! I am starting to know that now. I am starting to let go of the beliefs that tied me to misery. I am starting to clear my path and to allow the true abundance that is available to me into my life. I understand that the only thing that blocks all of God's abundance in my life is me. If I am true to my heart and soul and the belief that I am here for a purpose and that my ideas and dreams are worthy of being reality then I will begin to receive those dreams within my real life. In this knowledge I find peace, I find happiness, joy and excitement about my life, my possibilities and the power I have to create a better place.
I feel blessed!
Living Inspired,
Micah
Saturday, July 4, 2009
Happy Independence Day!!!!
Happy Independence Day Everyone!!!!
What a wonderful night!!!! I spent time with my family. My cousin had a birthday and it was a wonderful time. No Drama!!!! :) Only love. The thing I started to consider was that maybe it was always just love. Maybe the only difference between this 4th and every only 4th I've had is me.
I no longer feel as though I lack anything. In that feeling I enjoyed the evening. I enjoyed being there, I did not look for critizsim and I did not recieve any. I only enjoyed the positive of the evening, and in only focusing on the positive, I saw no negatives :)
I had a fobulous night! Not only did I enjoy being alone I also enjoyed the excitement of the unkown. What a wonderful moment, just imagine what next year will be. Only positive things are happejning in my life! I am blessed!
I hope you all took the time to enjoy where you are right now and the endless posibibliteis you have before you. Happy Independence Day :)
Living Inspired,
Micah
My Favorites SYTYCD
My favorite things:
These are from So You Think You Can Dance. The way they dance is incredible, I love it!
I have mentioned Sara Barellis several times on this blog, I absolutly love the girl! This is one of my favorite songs from her, and the dance is powerful..
And most recent favorite:
These are other dance I have also enjoyed..
These are from So You Think You Can Dance. The way they dance is incredible, I love it!
I have mentioned Sara Barellis several times on this blog, I absolutly love the girl! This is one of my favorite songs from her, and the dance is powerful..
And most recent favorite:
These are other dance I have also enjoyed..
Lift Me Up
I have been working on concentrating my energy on the things that make me happy.
Family:
I was having a difficult night last night. I was feeling lonely and slightly irritated but thankfully just when I was about to give into my bad mood my Sister called. She invited us and my brother over to hang out and do fireworks and play Rock band. I am NOT good at Rock band but I am determined to get better! I enjoyed the night so much. It was wonderful to be able to hang out with my family! I enjoyed being there by myself but, I also enjoyed the idea of having someone special in my life who would fit into our little family. I enjoy my family because it is small. My Brother, my Sister and myself. Our parents do not live close so it's just us, I love it! We have always had to stick together and I am so glad that we have continued to live our lives close to each other. My Sister recently moved back into the area and has been great about inviting us to be a part of her life. I adore her and my Brother-in-Law! They are very free, fun loving and easy going people. They are encouraging and supportive and I feel extremely grateful that I have them in my life.
I also am very close to my Brother, I always have been, and I hope I always will be. I have a great family. They are a definite Lift Me Up!!!!!!
Desk:
Since I will me moving in August a lot of my time has been spent figuring out how I will decorate my new place. I love redecorating! I buy a lot of my furniture items on Craigslist or from resale shops. I always seem to find exactly what I'm looking for and the price is always something I can afford:) My new place is much smaller than where I currently live so I will be selling a lot of what I have in order to get things that will fit better in my new space. I found the cutest little desk on Craigslist an I am so excited about getting it today:)
I've decided to add a picture of the desk:
It goes with the simple, easy style I like. One item down, lots more to go!
Feet:
I have never been very happy with what my feet look like. Come on, they are feet, there's nothing beautiful about them. I've always wanted to get a tattoo on each foot, I have yet to do it though. Instead of focusing on what I cannot do I decided to focus on what I can do. I've decided to use temporary tattoos for now. It's easy, quick, cute and cheap! So now my feet are pretty :) When it comes to going to Yoga or Pilates class I think I will be a lot less hesitant to take off my socks now :)
Focusing on the things I can control makes life much more enjoyable, I recommend you try it.
Living Inspired,
Micah
Family:
I was having a difficult night last night. I was feeling lonely and slightly irritated but thankfully just when I was about to give into my bad mood my Sister called. She invited us and my brother over to hang out and do fireworks and play Rock band. I am NOT good at Rock band but I am determined to get better! I enjoyed the night so much. It was wonderful to be able to hang out with my family! I enjoyed being there by myself but, I also enjoyed the idea of having someone special in my life who would fit into our little family. I enjoy my family because it is small. My Brother, my Sister and myself. Our parents do not live close so it's just us, I love it! We have always had to stick together and I am so glad that we have continued to live our lives close to each other. My Sister recently moved back into the area and has been great about inviting us to be a part of her life. I adore her and my Brother-in-Law! They are very free, fun loving and easy going people. They are encouraging and supportive and I feel extremely grateful that I have them in my life.
I also am very close to my Brother, I always have been, and I hope I always will be. I have a great family. They are a definite Lift Me Up!!!!!!
Desk:
Since I will me moving in August a lot of my time has been spent figuring out how I will decorate my new place. I love redecorating! I buy a lot of my furniture items on Craigslist or from resale shops. I always seem to find exactly what I'm looking for and the price is always something I can afford:) My new place is much smaller than where I currently live so I will be selling a lot of what I have in order to get things that will fit better in my new space. I found the cutest little desk on Craigslist an I am so excited about getting it today:)
I've decided to add a picture of the desk:
It goes with the simple, easy style I like. One item down, lots more to go!
Feet:
I have never been very happy with what my feet look like. Come on, they are feet, there's nothing beautiful about them. I've always wanted to get a tattoo on each foot, I have yet to do it though. Instead of focusing on what I cannot do I decided to focus on what I can do. I've decided to use temporary tattoos for now. It's easy, quick, cute and cheap! So now my feet are pretty :) When it comes to going to Yoga or Pilates class I think I will be a lot less hesitant to take off my socks now :)
Focusing on the things I can control makes life much more enjoyable, I recommend you try it.
Living Inspired,
Micah
Thursday, July 2, 2009
I don't want to wonder anymore
I don't want to spend the rest of my life wondering if we could've made it together. I don't want you to think of me and feel regrets or anger or pain. I spent years trying to help a loved one cure their broken heart, never admitting that my heart was broken as well. I spent years being afraid of your rejection that I never stood up and put myself out there to you. I tried to lead others down the path of following their heart. I tried to encourage others to mend old wounds and to stand up and be strong in the face of a lost love. I tried to encourage them because I believe that if you truly feel that much love for someone, a love that lasts years beyond where is was, then you owe it to yourself and your love to admit to it. You owe it to your own heart to be strong enough and ask the question: Do you still love me? You owe it to your heart to be honest and admit that you still hold love for that past love and if that love is available you should grab it.
So when someone asks me why I do the things I do I will say I do it for love. A love that I am not even sure still exists. A love that may have been one sided, a love that may have been a figment of my imagination. I owe it to my heart to see, maybe it was real. Maybe it was the true love. Maybe it still exists......
I'll never know if I don't try. I'll never know if I don't put myself out there. I'll never know if I stay trapped by the fear that I was worthness and unloveable.
So it is out there, I have put myself on display. I have shown my heart, I have laid out my cards. If I was wrong about this love then I can at least move on. I can let go and love again.
So when someone asks me why I do the things I do I will say I do it for love. A love that I am not even sure still exists. A love that may have been one sided, a love that may have been a figment of my imagination. I owe it to my heart to see, maybe it was real. Maybe it was the true love. Maybe it still exists......
I'll never know if I don't try. I'll never know if I don't put myself out there. I'll never know if I stay trapped by the fear that I was worthness and unloveable.
So it is out there, I have put myself on display. I have shown my heart, I have laid out my cards. If I was wrong about this love then I can at least move on. I can let go and love again.
To all that thought they knew me......
You were mistaken. You have never known me because I have never allowed myself to be known.
To all who say I have changed....
I have not changed at all, I have merely started to show my true self. I am not a Bitch, I played one for a while, I was quite good at it. I am not heartless, cruel, stupid, ditzy or any other label you may feel the need to place upon me.
I am love. I always have been, I just hid it from you all. Yes, there are a few who may know that side of me, but I can gaurantee you, most don't. Most people have known me to be judgemental, angry, bossy, rude and overall a very callous person. To all of you who have met that side of me I am truly sorry. I was not mean to hurt you, I was mean to protect myself.
I did not understand how to allow my love to flow through me. It seemed too powerful and I was afraid for someone, anyone, to reject it. I did not understand that love can be given and it doesn't have to be returned to be worth giving. I didn't realize that I could allow the love I have to flow without having that person feel the same. I feared for myself, it's that simple. I feared if I were to give love and not have be returned I would die. Over dramatic, yes, but I was young, naive and immature.
I am no longer any of those things :) Okay...maybe still slighty immature but I'm okay with that!
I am now more understanding of myself and what I am able to do, what I am able to handle and what I am able to control. I no longer carry anger in my front pocket. I don't lash out just so no one will approach me. I have to admit that I have made myself quite a reputation for being the angry mean girl that it has been hard to overcome.
I will overcome it though, I know that. I will no longer hide, I will allow my true self to be seen. Because I know, and understand now, that I can love without recieveing love in return. Of course the recieving of love is always good but I don't feel the emptiness I used to when I don't recieve love back. I now know I recieve love from the inside out. God loves me, I love me. It's still hard to say sometimes, I feel like someone might jump out and tell me how unworthy I am. That's not true though.
I am worthy of love, we are all worthy of love.
Don't judge me for who I used to be. You will be missing out on knowing the true me. The true me is no longer afraid of what people think, I love regaurdless. The true me is not angry or mean, the true me is light and playful, loving and kind, happy and at peace.
I hope you take the time to get to know me.
Living Inspired,
Micah
To all who say I have changed....
I have not changed at all, I have merely started to show my true self. I am not a Bitch, I played one for a while, I was quite good at it. I am not heartless, cruel, stupid, ditzy or any other label you may feel the need to place upon me.
I am love. I always have been, I just hid it from you all. Yes, there are a few who may know that side of me, but I can gaurantee you, most don't. Most people have known me to be judgemental, angry, bossy, rude and overall a very callous person. To all of you who have met that side of me I am truly sorry. I was not mean to hurt you, I was mean to protect myself.
I did not understand how to allow my love to flow through me. It seemed too powerful and I was afraid for someone, anyone, to reject it. I did not understand that love can be given and it doesn't have to be returned to be worth giving. I didn't realize that I could allow the love I have to flow without having that person feel the same. I feared for myself, it's that simple. I feared if I were to give love and not have be returned I would die. Over dramatic, yes, but I was young, naive and immature.
I am no longer any of those things :) Okay...maybe still slighty immature but I'm okay with that!
I am now more understanding of myself and what I am able to do, what I am able to handle and what I am able to control. I no longer carry anger in my front pocket. I don't lash out just so no one will approach me. I have to admit that I have made myself quite a reputation for being the angry mean girl that it has been hard to overcome.
I will overcome it though, I know that. I will no longer hide, I will allow my true self to be seen. Because I know, and understand now, that I can love without recieveing love in return. Of course the recieving of love is always good but I don't feel the emptiness I used to when I don't recieve love back. I now know I recieve love from the inside out. God loves me, I love me. It's still hard to say sometimes, I feel like someone might jump out and tell me how unworthy I am. That's not true though.
I am worthy of love, we are all worthy of love.
Don't judge me for who I used to be. You will be missing out on knowing the true me. The true me is no longer afraid of what people think, I love regaurdless. The true me is not angry or mean, the true me is light and playful, loving and kind, happy and at peace.
I hope you take the time to get to know me.
Living Inspired,
Micah
Dreams
My dream relationship:
We are friends. We genuinely care about each other. We have things in common but we aren't the same. He has his passions and I have mine. We both respect each other. We both know, without doubt, that we are going through this journey together. We make each other happy, we laugh a lot and are very light with our love. We are affectionate without being 'all over' each other. Outside people can see our connection, without words needing to be spoken.
He has his own life, he never excludes me and I don't feel the need to be attached to his hip. I occasionally hang out with him and the guys and he's okay with that. His friends like me, his friends respect our relationship. He trusts me. He knows I love him and that I am faithful to him. I am confident of his love for me, his devotion to me and our mutual love for each other. I also have a life. My friends find him to be funny and charming and they can see why we are together. They can tell just by the way we look at each other.
We enjoy spending time together. We are best friends. We are supportive of one another and push each other to accomplish our dreams. Because of that, our friendship and love, we are able to have lives separate of each other. We are not so twisted into one another that you cannot tell where one ends and the other begins. We are two separate but equal people in this relationship. We compliment each other. Neither of us feels like one is doing more to benefit this relationship than the other.
We each have friends of the opposite sex, we trust each other enough to be able to allow the other to be their true selves without any stipulations. He knows I am his and I know he is mine so there is no jealousy.
We talk to each other, truly talk. We tell the each other our greatest dreams and secrets because we know we can trust each other. There is no judgement in this relationship. Fights end quickly because we normally end up laughing about something and forget what we were even fighting about. We each are articulate and friendly. We are respectful of each other's families and friends and do not feel the need to bad mouth them. We are understanding enough of each other to allow the other to vent about life's frustrations without having to try and fix their situations. We have enough confidence in each other allow space for separateness.
We add to each other's lives, we don't take anything away. We find joy in being together and joy in being apart. The relationship is never forced, it just is. It is very casual and easy going, loving and safe and open and free.
We are friends. We genuinely care about each other. We have things in common but we aren't the same. He has his passions and I have mine. We both respect each other. We both know, without doubt, that we are going through this journey together. We make each other happy, we laugh a lot and are very light with our love. We are affectionate without being 'all over' each other. Outside people can see our connection, without words needing to be spoken.
He has his own life, he never excludes me and I don't feel the need to be attached to his hip. I occasionally hang out with him and the guys and he's okay with that. His friends like me, his friends respect our relationship. He trusts me. He knows I love him and that I am faithful to him. I am confident of his love for me, his devotion to me and our mutual love for each other. I also have a life. My friends find him to be funny and charming and they can see why we are together. They can tell just by the way we look at each other.
We enjoy spending time together. We are best friends. We are supportive of one another and push each other to accomplish our dreams. Because of that, our friendship and love, we are able to have lives separate of each other. We are not so twisted into one another that you cannot tell where one ends and the other begins. We are two separate but equal people in this relationship. We compliment each other. Neither of us feels like one is doing more to benefit this relationship than the other.
We each have friends of the opposite sex, we trust each other enough to be able to allow the other to be their true selves without any stipulations. He knows I am his and I know he is mine so there is no jealousy.
We talk to each other, truly talk. We tell the each other our greatest dreams and secrets because we know we can trust each other. There is no judgement in this relationship. Fights end quickly because we normally end up laughing about something and forget what we were even fighting about. We each are articulate and friendly. We are respectful of each other's families and friends and do not feel the need to bad mouth them. We are understanding enough of each other to allow the other to vent about life's frustrations without having to try and fix their situations. We have enough confidence in each other allow space for separateness.
We add to each other's lives, we don't take anything away. We find joy in being together and joy in being apart. The relationship is never forced, it just is. It is very casual and easy going, loving and safe and open and free.
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