Ready to Run!

I signed up for my local 5K Walk/Run yesterday. I wanted to sign up last year but I didn't. I didn't sign up because I had every excuse I could find not to. I wasn't in shape, I hadn't trained, I didn't want to embarrass myself by looking stupid trying something new.

All of those excuses are still valid and, if I wanted, I could still use them today. I've decided to go a different route. I've decided to quit making excuses about how I am not the person I want to be and instead, work on being that person. So I have doing the things that I see myself doing in the life I truly want.

I want to run. I have been an asthmatic for my whole life. I never did Gym because I always had and excuse, a Dr's note, or someone standing behind me saying that I couldn't or shouldn't do whatever because I was limited in my breath. I know those people were trying to keep me safe and I do not hold any anger towards them or their need to protect me. That limit that I accepted as a child held on to me into my adulthood. I didn't try to do things and I became the one who said the I couldn'ts and I shouldn'ts. I had accepted those limits and had decided that they were my reality. I accepted I was weak, I would never be the person I wanted to be because I was not physically able to become that person. I accepted defeat.

Last year I began to try running. I started with walking then progressed and I was shocked at how much I enjoyed the power I felt coursing through my blood when I ran. I felt powerful and connected. I ran all last summer and dropped 30 lbs, I felt the best I have ever in my life, physically. Winter came and I lost that connection, again I retreated to my cave.

This year I say 'Damn the Man' I am going to do the 5K. I don't care that it's this Saturday and I haven't trained. This is not a competition, I am not doing this to prove I can be better than someone else. I am doing this to prove to myself that I can do anything I want, I need only believe in myself. This is an opportunity for me to show myself, my God and everyone, that I am more than I have led anyone to believe. Inside of me is an amazing woman and I want to start showing that side of me.

Of course there is fear within me. Telling me I can't do it, I will embarrass myself, I'm not properly prepared, and every other negative thing that can possibly relate to this subject. I know though that I have a choice, I can listen to that voice that sounds like it's genuinely concerned for me and my safety or, I can decide ignore that voice. As genuine and loving as it sounds I know it is only my fear, it is trying to convince me to stay safe in my little cave where I will never get hurt and I will never feel pain. I know that that while that cave may keep me safe from harm it also closes me off from experiencing anything in my life!

I want adventure! I want to see what I am capable of doing, I want to test my limits for once. Instead of listening to what others think I am capable of I would like to know what I am capable of because I have tried. I want have the experience of knowing myself and what I am made of.

So this Saturday I am going to do a 5K!!!! I am excited and at the same time scared outta my mind! I've decided to use my fear to push me farther into things instead of away. I've decided that the things I have the most fear about attempting are probably the most important things I should do, because in doing them the fear will have to become something else. The fear will change into a different emotion. Maybe my fear will lead me to exaltation????? You never know :) I am willing and open to try and find out what comes of moving past my fear.

What do you hold yourself back from trying because of fear? What do you think is beyond the fear? What emotion do you think you may be able to find past your fear?

I say try to do something your afraid of, even if it's contacting someone you thought would never speak to you again. What's the worse that could happen??? They still don't want to talk to you? At least you move past yourself and your fear enough to test your limits. Maybe by facing that fear, and finding out they don't want to have anything to do with you, you might find peace. Maybe that fear would turn into peace because you will then know that part of your life is gone, it's time to move on and you can let go with the understanding that you did not hold yourself back with fear. You tested your limits and found where they lie, now you know and now you can move on to another opportunity.

Consider It.

Living Inspired,

Micah