I don't want to spend the rest of my life wondering if we could've made it together. I don't want you to think of me and feel regrets or anger or pain. I spent years trying to help a loved one cure their broken heart, never admitting that my heart was broken as well. I spent years being afraid of your rejection that I never stood up and put myself out there to you. I tried to lead others down the path of following their heart. I tried to encourage others to mend old wounds and to stand up and be strong in the face of a lost love. I tried to encourage them because I believe that if you truly feel that much love for someone, a love that lasts years beyond where is was, then you owe it to yourself and your love to admit to it. You owe it to your own heart to be strong enough and ask the question: Do you still love me? You owe it to your heart to be honest and admit that you still hold love for that past love and if that love is available you should grab it.
So when someone asks me why I do the things I do I will say I do it for love. A love that I am not even sure still exists. A love that may have been one sided, a love that may have been a figment of my imagination. I owe it to my heart to see, maybe it was real. Maybe it was the true love. Maybe it still exists......
I'll never know if I don't try. I'll never know if I don't put myself out there. I'll never know if I stay trapped by the fear that I was worthness and unloveable.
So it is out there, I have put myself on display. I have shown my heart, I have laid out my cards. If I was wrong about this love then I can at least move on. I can let go and love again.
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