Thank You

I haven't been doing a lot of thinking or pondering about my life latey, hence the small amount of posts this month. I want to continue to post my progress and where I am.

Right now I find myself in Gratitude.

I am so thankful for every experience I have ever had, good or bad. I am in a very happy place, within my soul. My outside life may not completely show that transformation but I can feel it.

I am thankful for the people who surrond me in my life. I am surround by creative, loving, amazing people. Everyday I meet another wonderful person who I thank the Universe for bringing into my life. I know I am blessed.

I cannot discribe the excitment I feel about my life! It's...beyond verbal expression.

Yet my life is choatic. It's as if I have thrown the puzzle that is my life up in the air and I am now waiting to see where the pieces lie.

Even within this I am Happy. I am smiling and I know that everything going to be okay. I know that this is an expeirence. I do not end when these experiences are over, I simply move on to another phase. Within that understanding I find peace.

I wish you all peace.

Living Inspired,

Micah

Music of the Moment/ Dispatch

This band is pretty cool. 2 Great songs

Prayers

I will move through today with faith and confidence that my life will work out the way it was meant to. I will stay calm and open, allowing the universe to flow through me without holding on to anything that may clog my connection.

I let go of regret and fear. I let go of the belief that I am all alone. I let go of the belief that I must figure life out. I accept guidance from the universe and my Higher Self.

I acknowledge my breathe and my life. I am thankful that I can remain so calm within such a chaotic time where I would normally feel extremely axious. Even within this time of transformation and transistion I acknowledge that I love my life. I am surrounded by people who I love. I am safe and I am loved and I am grateful.

Living Inspired,

Micah

Listen Up!

“Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate. Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure. It is our light, not our darkness that most frightens us. We ask ourselves, Who am I to be brilliant, gorgeous, talented, fabulous? Actually, who are you not to be? You are a child of God. Your playing small does not serve the world. There is nothing enlightened about shrinking so that other people won't feel insecure around you. We are all meant to shine, as children do. We were born to make manifest the glory of God that is within us. It's not just in some of us; it's in everyone. And as we let our own light shine, we unconsciously give other people permission to do the same. As we are liberated from our own fear, our presence automatically liberates others.”

-Inspiring quote by Marianne Williamson


Open your heart and soul and shine :)

In Love,

Micah

Wishes do come true

I think that sometimes we don't see how our wishes come true. I have mentioned before that I am working on not being so tied to the specifics of my desires. I'm working on letting God design my world.

This weekend I feel like a lot of the things I have been asking for have finally appeared in my life :) I made amends with myself. I was myself. Nothing about me was fake and I didn't act a certain way to be accepted. I was my true self, and for that I am pleased.

Situations that I have desires to have seemed to come about out of thin air this weekend. People who I desired to see popped up in unexpected places. I felt a connection :) I may not have done everything exactly as I would have liked to but I refuse to feel regret. Everything is past, only the moment I am in right now is the moment that matters.

Life is good.

Living Inspired,

Micah

Different Perspective

One of my dearest friends is getting married this weekend. She asked me to be the Maid of Honor.

Ugh, was my first instinct. The idea of being resposible for all of the things a real good Maid of Honor would cover was beyond to much for me to handle. I didn't want to have anything to do with it, and I told Binks :) that from the begining. She said 'Oh, don't worry about any of that. I know you, I just want you to be a part of my day.'

I wish I would've been able to hear her when she said that so many months ago. Once all of my thoughts of insecuritiy came crepping they had a firm hold! For months I have been dreading this event. The pressure upon me was unbearable!!!

I didn't notice until today that all of the pressure applied to me was by me. I allow myself to ruin the planning time of this a glorious event!

Last night as I was lying in my bed Dreading Sunday when the light finally shown.....

My best friend is getting married!

The girl who I have helped through so many moments is now about to walk down the lisle and, she wants me to be one of the people standing there with her! How did I not see how incredibly amazing this event is going to be! The girl who has been a little sister to me since 6th grade is becoming a wife. How blessed is this going to be. I feel such pride in knowing this woman. She is kind, giving, kookie and beautiful. I taught her, maybe we shouldn't talk about the things I taught her :) I have watched her grow into a wonderful friend, Mother and now Wife.

My perspective on this event has shifted, I'm very glad to say.

I wish everyone love, kindness, friendship and understanding. I wish everyone the experience to find their true happiness.

Living Inspired,

Micah


I love you Binks!!!!

Be Kind

Be kind.

Stressed

Everyone has days where they feel a little lost. Well I have to admit that I have been feeling that way more and more for the last few days. There is something stressing me out, the thing is, I don't really know what it is! It's quite annoying to feel so upset and not be able to pinpoint the reasoning behind it.

The Cookie Jar Theory

I have always had a hard time with the idea of God forgiving all of our 'sins'. Especially with the 'sins' we repeat time and time again. I have asked people of faith many times about what I call my Cookie Jar Theory and they have answered but their answers never made enough sense to me to be able to let go of my question, how can God really forgive us our 'sins'. I believed I have recently come to that answer within myself.

My Cookie Jar Theory is simple: The Cookie Jar is filled with cookies and your Mom tells you not to have any. Although you cannot seem to resist the desire to have a cookie. You apologize afterwards and you are forgiven. If you keep on taking a cookie and you keep on asking for forgiveness eventually your Mom is not going to believe you are truly sorry, because you keep on producing the same type of behavior, you can't really be sorry. My question comes from this idea: If I say I'm sorry but I cannot seem to stop my improper behavior then eventually I will no longer be forgive, so how can God truly love and forgive me?

Like I said this is a question I have asked time and time again and I have never gotten an answer I felt happy with, until now. I just realized today today that God does forgive every time we do anything, the ones who don't forgive is ourselves. Because we, some of us, believe ourselves to be unworthy of forgiveness we do not allow it into our lives. We can ask forgiveness until the cows come home but if we are unable to allow forgiveness in we will never truly find it.

The Cookie Jar theory is simple, God will always forgive us. God knows us beyond what we know of ourselves. I believe God sees the struggle we go through within ourselves, in God knowing and seeing our inward struggle God sees that we truly are sorry, even if we are unable at the time to change our behavior. I also believe God never denies us forgiveness, we deny ourselves. I don't believe God looks at our lives and expects us to ask for forgiveness. This is a journey, it's an experience, we each are going to run it to many different situations, good and bad and we are here to experience what this life has to offer.

I believe God is our creator, our Father in Heaven and that all God wants from us is to live this life with the understanding that we are connected. We are connected to God and to everyone else by God. I believe once we understand that and the fact that no matter what we do we will go back to God in the end, then we will start to be kinder to ourselves. I believe this life is not a test or a lesson, this is an experience. A wonderful opportunity to create a life in the way we want to. An opportunity to be free and know, if we can grasp the knowing, that we are always safe, always protected and always loved by God. God did not abandon us on this Earth, God created this Earth for us. We are connected and attached. We are meant to be and show the love of God through ourselves and we can only truly do that when we learn to love ourselves as God loves us completely and wholly without and judgement or persecution.

I encourage you all to consider this idea.

In Loving Inspiration,

Micah

What did I learn

I went out for the first time in a very long time this past weekend. I got drunk and paid for it the next morning by being severely sick, not good. What I want to write about is what I have learned about myself from that experience.

Let me start by saying that in another life, when I was a different version of myself, I was a VERY flirtatious girl :) That's putting things mildly, I am, and always have been, an insane flirt! I love attention, and I love men, put them together and what you get is flirt. Actually back in the day, I was way more than a flirt, I was straight up player! Without going into too much detail I got hurt emotionally at a young age and instead of letting the pain go I let it harden within my heart. I decided I could play 'the game' better than any boy and I proved it. I had swagger most girls never dream of having :)

I smile and laugh about it now because I refuse to feel shame. It was a time in my life and I will never persecute myself for that behavior. I was hurt, I believed that all men viewed women as was sexual gratification and I decided I could work with that. I refused to even consider that a man would want more of me than what I could physically give, and I also decided I wanted nothing more of them then what they could physically give. For me that worked for a long time. No feelings or emotion just physical pleasure.

What I learned about myself on this recent outing is that I have grown. Of course I am still a mad flirt but I do not look at myself as someone not worthy of emotion or feelings attached to physical affection. I know now that I will not settle for what I once found to be acceptable, and even preferred at the time.

I am worth attention. I have always been worth affection. I am worth kindness and pleasure in my life. I know now that I allowed myself to believe that I was worth less. I believed that my soul didn't require or desire an intimate connection, I was wrong.

So yes, a very tiny amount of old school Micah showed herself at the bar this weekend :) and I have a choice I can either degrade myself for months and not allow myself to go back out or I can smile at myself and realize that yes all of my behavior wasn't great but you live and you learn. I allow myself room for growth, and that room includes space for correction of certain behaviors.

I am pleased that I am not hiding in the sand beating myself for the tiniest of infractions. I will encourage myself to try again, and with time I will learn the appropriate behavior I want to portray.



Living Inspired,

Micah