To all that thought they knew me......

You were mistaken. You have never known me because I have never allowed myself to be known.

To all who say I have changed....
I have not changed at all, I have merely started to show my true self. I am not a Bitch, I played one for a while, I was quite good at it. I am not heartless, cruel, stupid, ditzy or any other label you may feel the need to place upon me.

I am love. I always have been, I just hid it from you all. Yes, there are a few who may know that side of me, but I can gaurantee you, most don't. Most people have known me to be judgemental, angry, bossy, rude and overall a very callous person. To all of you who have met that side of me I am truly sorry. I was not mean to hurt you, I was mean to protect myself.

I did not understand how to allow my love to flow through me. It seemed too powerful and I was afraid for someone, anyone, to reject it. I did not understand that love can be given and it doesn't have to be returned to be worth giving. I didn't realize that I could allow the love I have to flow without having that person feel the same. I feared for myself, it's that simple. I feared if I were to give love and not have be returned I would die. Over dramatic, yes, but I was young, naive and immature.

I am no longer any of those things :) Okay...maybe still slighty immature but I'm okay with that!

I am now more understanding of myself and what I am able to do, what I am able to handle and what I am able to control. I no longer carry anger in my front pocket. I don't lash out just so no one will approach me. I have to admit that I have made myself quite a reputation for being the angry mean girl that it has been hard to overcome.

I will overcome it though, I know that. I will no longer hide, I will allow my true self to be seen. Because I know, and understand now, that I can love without recieveing love in return. Of course the recieving of love is always good but I don't feel the emptiness I used to when I don't recieve love back. I now know I recieve love from the inside out. God loves me, I love me. It's still hard to say sometimes, I feel like someone might jump out and tell me how unworthy I am. That's not true though.

I am worthy of love, we are all worthy of love.

Don't judge me for who I used to be. You will be missing out on knowing the true me. The true me is no longer afraid of what people think, I love regaurdless. The true me is not angry or mean, the true me is light and playful, loving and kind, happy and at peace.

I hope you take the time to get to know me.

Living Inspired,

Micah