Monday, March 2, 2009

The Start of a New Experience

Everything in my life is changing right now. It seems like nothing is going to stay the same. My love of the last 5 years has moved out, a mutual decision. I wanted us both to take some time to learn who we really are. I want to have the chance to heal from old wounds that we have afflicted upon each other over the years in anger, vengeance and plain stupidity. We both have a tremendous love for each other, I'm thankful for that. I'm not sure I would be as calm as I am going through this process if I did not know of the love we share.

Today I am feeling anxious though. I have a feeling of unease, as if a shoe is about to drop. I am doing everything I can to try and divert my attention from that energy onto a more positive train of thought.

One of my favorite songs is Waiting To See from Sara Barellis. The lines that resonates with me most are:
I'm waiting to see what I might be
if released from chains that bind me from within.
I'm holding out on feelings of doubt
that capture my release
and I'm waiting for peace to come in and let me out.

These lines explain exactly what I am currently doing in my life. I am not thinking or acknowledging the feelings of doubt or lack that I have been taught to believe this life holds. I am looking for opportunities to better my life. Not only in the way I think about myself and my situation but also how I view others and their situations. I do believe that the world is good.

Now I'm Waiting To See.

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