Who have I been and how do I want to be?

Who have I been?

I have spent my life being someone who is afraid of life itself. I have spent my years being mean to myself, hurting myself and allowing others to hurt me as well. I have been a closet binge eater. A smoker of a pack of cigarettes a day when I am a severe asthmatic. I have done everything I can possibly think of to do to keep myself down. I have verbally and physically and emotionally beaten myself up on a daily basis. I have been in a severe self destruct mode for at least the last 15 years.

Who do I want to be?

I want to be....me. The real, true me. I want to be capable of showing who I am without feeling judged or embarrassed, without feeling like I need to hold back or sensor myself. I do believe that within me there is an amazing being, I want to let that being out. I want to shine, not so people notice me but so that I may fulfill my destiny.

I know within my soul there is a purpose for my life. I'm sure that if I were to be kind to myself and eliminate my toxic behaviors my true self would be sure to shine through.
This is how I see it: We are beings of light, energy and love. We are all connected, not only to one another, but also to the creator of life. I see it like being a type of filter. When we are clean and pure the light of love and creation shine through us, when we are in that phase we can find our pure potential, our destiny, our reason for our existence here on Earth.

When we allow the world, and worldly things to attach themselves to us they have the ability to clog our connection to creation. The more worldly things we allow ourselves to become attached the more clogged that connection becomes. When that connection becomes clogged we begin to feel alone, lost and we lose our ability to feel our connection to anything or anyone. If we were to let go of certain worldly things, we be more able to feel our connection and our connection to life would shine through us. I hope this makes sense. I am trying to explain the way I see things within my own mind, it may sound like gibberish to some but I know the idea is good.

I want to be one that light shines through. I want to feel and know my connection with creation because I know once I allow creation to shine through me I will be fulling my destiny. Imagine what the world would be like if each of us were a clear and open enough filter to allow creation to shine through us.......the world would be a completely different place. Instead of being run by greed and 'each man for himself' we would all realize that we are one. There would be love and forgiveness and compassion, there would be a kinship that I believe each of us longs for. Perhaps we all look for an intimate connection because we know, within our essence that kinship and oneness is our basic element. We all long for connection because at our core we know connection is what our existence is all about.

Consider it.

Living Inspired,

Micah



I love the song and I am a Grey's Fan too so it worked in both ways :)