Sticking with it

I've mentioned before that I have a very hard time with follow through, consistency and sticking with anything. Well anything that is new and beneficial, anything different from my old behavior patterns. I am on day 2 of my diet and I am already feeling the desire to quit. My mind is saying 'it's no use, you're never gonna get thin. You have always been fat and you always will be fat. Just give up now and enjoy a cookie'. Ugh, I want to so bad! A part of me wants to just sit back and eat some cookies, have a Dr. Pepper and accept that this is the way I look and there is nothing I can do about it.

The thing is.....I don't believe that anymore. I CAN do something about it. I don't have to be fat, I have chosen to be fat. I have chosen to be stubborn and not change. How is my body suppose to change if I will not put forth the effort to change it??? Simple ideas, I know, but that hasn't stopped me from maintaining the same behavior, and complaining about the lack of results.

I can no longer stay blind to my own behavior. I need to take a hard look at what I want, and if I truly want to get it I need to put forth the effort. I will no longer half-ass my life. What a waste it is when I spend hours at the gym only to come home and eat a whole package of double stuffed oreos, it doesn't make sense!

I am strong. I can make it through this, it's a diet change. I am getting rid of the old behaviors and starting new, healthy behaviors. It is hard! The moment I said that, the loving voice inside my head said 'it is only as hard as you make it', and that is so true. I can see it now........