Friday, May 29, 2009

Resistance and Acceptance

A lot of what I have been reading for the last few months talks about resistance and acceptance, and in this moment I finally got it! I understand! I can see now that I spend all my time resisting. Whether it be my weight, my life, my partner, any and everything really. I constantly resist life. I make everything harder than it has to be, because I resist.

I looked up what resist means: To remain firm against the actions, effects, or force of; withstand and, to keep from giving in to or enjoying.

That is me, that is my behavior, on practically everything. In one of the books I read it said 'to resist the present moment is to resist the entire universe', or something like that. I understand it now though.

This diet is something I want, and feel like I have to do, yet I resist. The question I ask is why? Why do I resist this change? Is this change going to result in pain or loss for me??? No. Will my resistance make any situation better? No. All my resistance does is cause me pain. I get a headache I get upset and I try to fight to stay where I am, only to end up unhappy where I am.

Again my fear of the unknown is at the heart of my struggle. I have never been thin, I don't have any idea what I would look like thin. I have no idea how my life will change, but I am guaranteed that it will change. I know my attitude to life and how I perceive it will change with my weight loss, I'm not sure how it will change, again the unknown is present.

So I now realize, I have a choice, I always have had this choice but now I see it. I see the fork in the road, I know where one path leads, oreo cookies, Dr. Pepper, long pants in summer and a feeling of constant defeat. The other path....unknown. I have no idea what could be in store for me if I were to accept the things I have to do and quit resisting. I have no idea, where I will end up, what I will look like, who I will be.

The only guarantees I have is that I will always be. I will not stop existing, for I am energy, light and a piece of God. I am love and power. I am.

A new, unknown path lies before me and at this fork in the road I leave the old me. I leave resistance and pain and half-assing my life. I accept myself. I accept my power and my ability to transform. Life is meant to be a journey, it is meant to change, I accept those changes now. Even with the slight fear that clings to me I start off on this path with excitement, joy, love and comprehension that no matter what I run into down this path I am ready!

Damn the Man, Save the Empire! LOL! I love that line :)

Living Inspired,

Micah

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